The Unforgiven
by IlovetowriteSMP
Summary: Crossover story between AMC and GH. Kendall and Ryan from Pine Valley come to Port Charles and interact with Carly and Jason in a way that changes all of their lives. Also, Brenda and Johnny romance.
1. How Far For Love?

Premise- A completely different take on Charlotte coming to town. Jarly, Kendall and Ryan from All My Children. A little bit of Johnny and Brenda in this.

Note- **This story is dedicated to J C Morgan **who came up with the idea of an story with both Ryan and Kendall from All My Children and Jason and Carly from GH.

You don't really have to know much about Ryan or Kendall to read this. (Chapter Three discusses their backstory.)

Since I hated the way Guza and crew brought Charlotte ( Reese) onto the show I decided to rewrite that. **So picture Kendall as the woman who was once known as Charlotte**. I changed whatever I needed to in order to make that work, as you will see in the story.

In an interesting side note, Carly and Kendall, according to their respective histories, both grew up in Florida.

This tale starts in 2002. Ryan and Kendall dated and then he dumped her and roared out of Pine Valley on his motorcycle, as shown on AMC, leaving her crazy in love with him and also brokenhearted.

In Port Charles, Carly owns Deception still and is in the process of divorcing Sonny.

Here is my version of what the Charlotte Storyline could have been...

**Chapter One** **How far for love?**

**October 2002- Port Charles.**

The moment Jason Morgan walked into her office his heart sped up. She looked up from her paperwork and smiled at him.

He heard, in his mind, the same sentence he did every time he looked at Carly now. The words he had waited over two years to have her say- and she finally did a few months before- _I am leaving Sonny_.

God, he loved those words. Best words ever.

But it wasn't like he could tell her that. She had loved and fought for and nearly killed herself, and them, for that selfish bastard. The guy was his boss still but Jason would never mistake him for a friend.

Jason, also, would not lie to himself that Sonny didn't mean something to Carly, but still...she was divorcing him. Just knowing that made him feel better than he had in years.

"Jase! What brings you in here in the middle of the day?"

The way her eyes lit up, dancing with heat and joy at the sight of him, made his body react. Made an image from the past jump into his mind, of her skin against his skin, her mouth on his.

He did his best to snap his attention back to what she was saying.

"Not that I mind," Carly added.

He said, "I gave Emily a ride here for her photo shoot."

"And you just had to stop in and see me?" Carly teased "I missed you too."

He only nodded in response then asked "You busy?"

"I have a meeting in five minutes. Why?"

He said, "There is something I need to talk to you about...it's big...do you have some time for me tonight?"

"For you, always." Carly smiled "Jake's?"

"Sounds good. 6: 30, okay? " He tapped her desk once and said "I will see you later, Carly."

She was still smiling as she watched him leave. "Later, Jase."

XXXXXXXXXX

**Across town**, Kendall Hart stepped out of the airport and hailed a cab.

_This is the right place_, she said to herself. _I can feel it._

She had searched other towns in the five months before. Followed leads that led her no where. Paid people for information that only sent her on wild goose chases.

Port Charles, New York had to be the place where she got her answers. Every second of this waiting was killing her.

She placed her hand on her stomach. Time was running out.

XXXXXXXXXX

**Ryan poured the blond **a drink at the bar. "What brings you into Jake's today?"

She glared at him and threw back her drink. "Coleman around?"

"Nah, sorry. Anything I can do for you?"

"Ever kill a man?" asked Courtney

Ryan's eyes widened. In the time he had lived in this town he had noticed it seemed to be overrun with criminals, sociopaths and egomaniacs. This woman had to fit in one of those categories, considering the crazed look in her eye.

Ryan was glad to be getting off work in a half an hour. Then he could go on a long motorcycle ride and then retreat to his room above this bar and lift weights until he was exhausted enough to fall into a dreamless sleep.

"You having a bad day?" he asked his customer.

Courtney sighed and her face fell. "I just need some liquid courage before I go to work tonight."

Ryan poured her another. "What do you do?"

She grimaced and shook her head. Then threw back her drink. In a fake preppy voice she sneered, "I'm a society wife. I don't do anything but look pretty and make my husband's life easier. Sounds like a breeze, doesn't it?"

She let out a bitter laugh. "Love is evil, do you know that?"

"Yeah, I'm aware," Ryan said.

He made his way down the bar to pour drinks and get beers for other customers, while his mind drifted back to months earlier.

The ache in his bones never really left, just like her face was never really far from his mind.

But he couldn't go back to Pine Valley, back to her. He wouldn't.

The weight filled his chest again, making it hard to breath.

_Just don't think about her_, he told himself, _Forget her. Forget Kendall._

If only he could.


	2. Chasing You Down

Thanks for the reviews!

**Chapter Two Chasing Down Love**

**2002**

**LATER THAT NIGHT**

**Kendall sat at a table **in Jake's. It was around six pm. The bar was smoky and filled with an after work crowd.

She punched numbers into her phone and, as soon as the man answered, she said, her tone annoyed and more than a little frustrated, "He's not here! And all the people in this bar are rude jerks who won't even tell me if they have seen him."

"My contact swore that the man in the picture I showed him was same man working at that bar," Aiden said. "Maybe Ryan has moved on already."

"Find him," Kendall ground out. "What am I paying you for?"

"You aren't paying me," said her friend in his throaty British accent.

She pouted, her lips pressing together, and then let out a harsh breath. In a small voice filled with longing she said, "I need him."

Her gaze fell downwards and she was only reminded of exactly how badly she had to locate Ryan.

"You need to come home before-"

Cutting him off, she barked out, "I will come home when I have Ryan and not before."

She grabbed her purse and went outside to get back in her cab. Just as she climbed inside, a limo pulled up.

Kendall's cab drove away before Carly stepped out of her vehicle and walked into Jake's. Her bodyguard trailed behind, silently.

Neither woman noticed the other, their past sliding right by them without a word being spoken.

(_Desperate for changing_

_  
Starving for truth_

_  
Closer to where I started  
chasing after you_. ) ( Life house) 

XXXXXXX

**A half an hour later**, Jason walked into the bar. He spotted Carly, both her hands were on the jukebox as she searched for a song, her hips were swaying to the beat of the one that played now. He noticed several men had their eyes glued to her ass, just like he could not help but do.

He called her name. She started to smile, he knew, before she even looked over her shoulder.

He loved that smile, the one she reserved just for him.

(_I'm falling even more in love with you  
letting go of all I've held onto_

_  
I'm standing here until you make me move_

_I'm hanging by a moment here with you)_ ( Lifehouse)

He got a beer from the bar and then joined her at her table.

"So?" she asked, dragging the word out.

He kept his eyes on her, as he enjoyed just studying her face. So many times, while she was married to Sonny, he couldn't watch her like this, and he loved being able to again now.

"So what?" he asked

"You said there was something big...come on, man, don't keep me in suspense."

"You won't like it."

She made a face. "Damn. I was hoping you..."

"What?"

Her eyes drifted away, getting sad and insecure. That hit Jason like a punch. She used to always look at him like that, back when he was pushing her away to be with Robin.

The very last time he truly did that was the day he gave up on them and the landslide started...she got herself out of her marriage to AJ by sleeping with Sonny, getting pregnant by Sonny, marrying Sonny, and Jason got his precious freedom.

It still, to this day, this very second, made him ill to think what he had caused.

Carly smiled "You know...I was plotting and planning all afternoon some way to get us into that room upstairs. You know I actually had myself convinced you asked me here for that...ridiculous, huh?"

She laughed at herself and her face lit up. He wanted her in that room, and he wanted her now.

(_Forgetting all I'm lacking  
Completely Incomplete_

_  
I'll take your invitation  
you take all of me_)

He let out a quick breath, pulling himself together and said "Brenda is alive."

"What would make you think that?"

"I know that, Carly. I got this photo in the mail of her and this guy outside a casino in Monte Carlo. Jax got a similar one. He went looking for her and found a double, someone who was paid to go around pretending to be Brenda."

"For what purpose?"

"I can't be sure. But I went looking too and I found her...she's was living with, or more likely the prisoner of, some guy named Luis Alcazar."

He watched Carly take that in, and knew the information changed her feelings. She would have preferred to leave Brenda lost or dead or simply gone but knowing she had been a possible victim of some scuzzy man pissed her off. She could hate Brenda all she wanted, but no one else better mess with her like that.

Jason said, "I brought her home."

"I see."

For a long moment they just stared at each other. Since Jason didn't say more, Carly asked, through clenched teeth, "Will she be living with you then?"

"She went to stay with the Quartermaine's. I told her they will drive her nuts, but she likes them. Thinks of them as family, actually."

"And that makes her your...what...sister?" Carly snarked "Oh, geez, I can not believe she is here again. Why do people keep coming back from the dead? Yeah, I loved that Luke found Lucky but ...her...Brenda...well if I would have found out she was alive, I would have left her dead."

He said, "I wanted to be the one to tell you. You shouldn't turn a corner and see her and Sonny together."

"And they will be again. You know it, Jase."

"Do you care?"

He held his breath, trying not to let her know what her answer might mean to him.

(_I'm standing here until you make me move  
I'm hanging by a moment here with you_

_  
I'm living for the only thing I knowI'm running and I'm not quite sure where to go_

_  
and I don't know what I'm diving into  
just hanging by a moment here with you_) 

"I'm done with Sonny. I was his stand-in for her and now the real thing is back. If he talks her into another go round, good for him. Let them kill each other or live happy ever after...whatever comes first. Just as long as me and you get to be free of them."

He nodded.

She grabbed his beer and took a drink. "Dance with me, okay?"

Her question was soft and filled with need.

Jason had a very hard time turning her down when she asked that way, and she knew it. He put up token resistance but soon she was in his arms and they were slowly swaying to some song he never heard before. It didn't matter what it was, he only cared that she was sliding nearer and nearer to him, that her hands were clasped around his neck.

He was as in love with her as ever. He just didn't know when he should tell her that.

(_There is nothing else to lose  
There is nothing else to find  
There is nothing in the world  
that could change my mind_

_  
There is nothing else_...) 

XXXXXXXXX

Carly looked up into his blue eyes. Her heart raced. She wanted him to take her back to his place and keep her there forever. To love her forever. To make the last few years nothing but a bad memory.

But she knew he wasn't interested anymore.

He would never get over the fact she was with Sonny.

_Some things_, she thought to herself as she fought the urge to let her lips brush against his, _will always stay unforgiven_.

(_desperate for changing  
starving for truth_

_  
I'm closer to where I started  
I'm chasing after you_

_  
I'm falling even more in love with you  
letting go of all I've held onto_

_  
I'm standing here until you make me move  
I'm hanging by a moment here with you_

_  
I'm living for the only thing I know  
I'm running and not quite sure where to go_

_  
and I don't know what I'm diving into  
just hanging by a moment here with you...) ( Life house)  
_


	3. Sinners from the Start

**Chapter Three- Sinners From the Start**

**2002**

**More than anything**, Kendall really needed forgiveness.

She rented a room at the Port Charles Hotel and ran a bath- in water not too hot- as she thought about her past.

Before she was even eighteen she was a con artist, a criminal, and a first class liar. And those were her good traits.

At least she always thought so. And Caroline agreed.

(_And now we're grown up orphans  
that never knew their names._

_  
We don't belong to no one.  
That's a shame._

But if you could hide beside me  
Maybe for a while

_  
And I won't tell no one your name  
And I won't tell em' your name)_ ( Goo Goo Dolls) 

That was how they got through life back then. Taking the high school boys for everything they had and then moving on to the guys in the frats, and, finally, to the drop outs hanging around the pool halls.

They never stopped to think about who got hurt. Because they were both hurt, in the very same cruel and bitter way, from birth. Abandoned, tossed away like yesterday's newspaper, and expected to conform to a new family. Be good girls, adjust.

_Charlotte_- she sighed as she thought of her old name- had sucked at adjusting. She just didn't do it, no matter how hard her adopted mother had tried to help her. And then one day Charlotte had just stopped trying to be good and started enjoying being bad.

It was when she met Caroline- who was thirteen years old, the only other person at the school playground at ten o'clock at night. Caroline was sitting a swing, wearing a _I hate everything about this world _expression, and smoking a cigarette.

They were fast friends, best friends for every day after. Until all their days ran out and it was just over.

(_And scars are souvenirs you never lose._

_  
The past is never far._

_  
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there?  
Did you get to be a star?_

_  
And don't it make you sad to know that life  
is more than who we are_?) 

It took Charlotte a few months and a couple of different names before she ended up in Pine Valley as Kendall Hart. If her adoptive family in Florida weren't a good fit for her then her birth mother surely would be, she had thought.

But the good residents of Pine Valley, Pennsylvania ran her out of town after a few years, when she pushed too hard for too much. When she wanted her family's love and they didn't know that lying, scheming, and hustling was the way she showed that.

Caroline would have known.

(_We grew up way too fast  
and now there's nothing to believe._

_  
Reruns all become our history._

_  
A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio  
And I won't tell no one your name  
And I won't tell em' your name_

_  
I won't tell em' your name_) 

When she went back to Pine Valley, only 10 months ago, Kendall had grown up some. She was now smarter and wiser and even more vicious. She had been determined to see that Erica, her birth mom, paid for ditching her, not once but twice. Revenge was on her mind and when she set her targets on someone they damn well knew it and suffered.

And then Kendall met Ryan...

She sunk into the bathtub in her hotel suite and remember the blue eyed hunk that stole her heart.

He was just as broken as her. But he didn't know it yet, would never cop to it, and instead put the blame on Kendall for all their problems. Until one day, not long before they were supposed to say 'I do', all of her supposed sins added up to be too much for him and he did what nearly every person who ever loved her had done.

Ryan walked away.

There was only one person Kendall could think of who hadn't turned their back on her. But the last time they spoke she had been screaming _"I hate you so much!"_

Kendall smiled at the memory because she knew Caroline hadn't meant a word of it.

She could never hate her. They were best friends.

(_I think about you all the time  
But I don't need the same._

_  
It's lonely where you are come back down,  
And I won't tell em your name_) ( Goo Goo Dolls) 

XXXXXXXX

**Jason gave Carly a ride home **on his motorcycle. She lived in an apartment with Michael, and had guards on her door at all times.

She slipped her key into the lock, as Johnny stood nearby.

Jason said to him, "If she asks to go to the Quatermaine's, tell her no."

"I can always take a cab," Carly said with a laugh. "But I won't. She can live...whatever."

"Who?" asked Johnny

"Her," said Carly, rolling her eyes. "The she-devil."

"Brenda," Jason clarified.

Johnny paled and stumbled back a step. Jason's eye jerked to attention. "Sorry, man, I should have told you a different way. I found her a few days ago and brought her home this morning."

"And she's fine? Not hurt at all?" Johnny asked

Carly cocked her head and studied him.

"She's ...the same. Loud, reckless, thinks she's funny," Jason said, and then a small smile curved his lips.

"I'm...I should...I'm gonna go see for myself," Johnny said "Do you mind if I take some time off? I can get someone over here to watch the door."

"Go," Jason said "I'll stay here."

Johnny took off and, as soon as he was gone, Carly rolled her eyes. "Damn it. She snared another one, Jase."

Jason smiled, shook his head at her, and led her into her apartment.

XXXXXXX

**Ryan had the dream again**. The one where his father was beating his mother, and then he turned into his father, and then his mother turned into Kendall. Just before he struck her, Ryan shot upright in bed, sweat dripping off his bare chest.

His mind went back to the last time he saw Kendall. She was just about to kiss some British guy. She stood there stripped down to her bra, her eyes all doe like, seducing him.

And though Ryan suspected it was part of a con, he had left her behind anyway. Not because he didn't love her. But because, in the second he saw her like that, he had wanted to hurt someone.

To drive his fist into something, to see blood. He hadn't wanted to hurt her. He never would. But the fear that he couldn't control his anger put him on his bike and sent him away from Pine Valley- away from his only love.

He grabbed his cell phone and punched in her number.

A recorded message played. He started to relax. Her voice always did that to him.

_Kendall._

He would never see her again- he couldn't risk it- but he needed to hear her voice sometimes.

If she ever changed her number, Ryan didn't know what he might do. Go crazy, probably.

But everyday without her was leading him there already. He hadn't known you could miss someone like this- down to your very soul.

And he had missed people before. He missed his mother when she died. He missed his brother and sister when he left home as a teen and left them behind. He missed his first wife after a bullet to her head stole away her life and their future.

But all of that combined did not equal the way he missed Kendall.

He laid back down to try and sleep but figured it would be useless now. Once he started thinking about her...he could stay lost in the memories for hours.

XXXXXXXX

**Jason and Carly sat on her couch** laughing and joking. They had sent Leticia home for the night. When Michael woke up from a bad dream, Jason said "I'll handle it," to her.

When he came back he told Carly, "He's asleep again."

"It's been a long time since you got to chase away the monsters for our son," she said

"I'd do it anytime. You know that."

"So does he. But it would be...so much better for him...if you lived with us."

Her eyes held him for a long moment. He let out a breath and sat down next to her. "You aren't even divorced yet..."

"Is that all that is stopping you?"

Jason could her a thousand questions in her voice. _Do you love me? Do you want me? Will you be my man again? Were you always mine?_

He waited a moment, then nodded, once.

She leaned close to him. "Really?" her voice broke. "Jase?"

Then he was kissing her, and they were tumbling backwards on the couch, not talking or explaining or asking permission or forgiveness, they were just making love to each other and letting go of the pain.

"Take me to bed," she whispered into his ear.

He stood up and picked her up. For a moment, he stood completely still. Her cheeks were flushed, her breathing coming in shallow gasps, and her eyes, God those eyes were amazing to him. They were wild with need, with commitment, with something too pure to label as simple love.

Carly asked, searching his face, "What? What? Have you changed your mind?"

Jason gave her a slow smile. "No, I never changed my mind about you. I just need you to know...I love you."

She kissed him, hard and fast. "That is the best thing I have ever heard! Now, please," her eyes were sparkling with desire for him "take me to bed, Jase."

And that is what he did.


	4. Still Yours

**Chapter Four Still Yours**

**2002**

Johnny raised his hand to knock on the door of the Quatermaine mansion, then stalled. Instead he wandered around the house and stood on the patio. The whole huge clan was inside the living room, like it was family reunion, and at the center of it was her.

She was laughing, smiling, happy. She was alive. And then Brenda turned and, as if on instinct, peered through the French doors and saw him.

A minute later she was stepping outside. Her eyes lit up but her mouth only pouted a silent apology at him.

"You look amazing for a dead woman," he said it slightly angrier than he intended.

_Damn, give yourself away, why don't you? _Johnny asked himself.

They had been together one night. She was engaged to Jax and she had no intention of leaving him, back then. So Johnny was left to tell her that was okay, fine, no big deal. And she pretended to believe him.

Brenda murmured his name and all his walls fell down. He turned away from her. His voice was shaky when he asked, "No phones where you were?"

"There were..." she said calmly, letting the sentence die after that.

"I would have come and got you."

"I know," she said moving closer to him "But , at first, the last thing I wanted was to have anyone from here see me slowly go crazy and die like my mom did. Then, when I didn't care about that anymore, when I just longed to be home again...be with someone who loved me...I couldn't. It was too late. I was a prisoner of some freak who called holding me captive for my own good an expression of his love."

Johnny's head jerked to the side, his eyes met hers. His filled with pain at her revelation. She gave him a look that said she was not going to fall apart over it.

He asked "His name?"

"Don't worry about it."

"Don't worry about it?" he repeated softly "All right, I'll figure it out on my own, later. For now..." he touched her arm and then let his fingers drift down over her bare skin and to her hand. She took his. "it's amazing you came back...if I thought there was a chance...I would have looked longer.. I would have looked forever...we all would of."

"I don't blame anyone for giving up the search. I don't want to even think about what you all went through or what I went through or any of it." After a moment, Brenda whispered, " Come on in...we're celebrating my freedom."

He gave her a slow smile and let her drag him inside.

XXXX

**The next morning, C**arly was walking down the stairs of the docks when she froze in mid-step. Her body guard stayed in the shadows, not intruding and it was like he was not even there at all.

The woman who stood near the water's edge had her back to Carly but there was something eerily familiar in her posture, in the way her hip hitched slightly to the side, and her curly brown hair that brushed the edge of her wool coat.

But it wasn't _her_. It couldn't be. Carly closed her eyes and opened them again.

The woman was still there.

She started to turn around and Carly saw a glimpse of her cheekbone. That was all it took.

Carly gasped.

She breathed out one word, "Charlotte..."

For a long silent minute the two woman stared at each other.

"Caroline."

Carly squeezed her eyes closed. _She's not here. She's not here._

There were countless times when Carly had imagined her old friend standing before her, even talking to her, but this was a little too realistic for comfort. Was she an angel? A mirage? A hallucination?

"I forgive you," Kendall finally said.

Carly's eyes popped open.

Kendall gave her a weak smile. "For saying you hated me. I know you didn't. I've heard a lot worse in my life and what you said never caused my accident. I caused it- on purpose- so...I could escape my life...escape who I was and who I didn't want to be anymore."

Carly walked down the stairs, slowly getting closer and closer, still not really believing any of this was real.

Charlotte went on, "Will you forgive me, Caroline?"

When Carly reached the other woman, she met her eyes, and in that instant it clicked.

_Charlotte is alive._

Carly's hand shot out and slapped her.

Kendall touched her cheek, a moment passes and then she smiled in a way that said _Some things never change_, and told her "I see you haven't mellowed any. Good. It would have been a shame. But you need not do that again. You wouldn't want to lose your temper and really hurt me."

"Wouldn't I?" Carly's lip quivered "Where have you been? WHERE?"

Kendall lost her breath where she saw the soul tearing pain that exploded in Carly's eyes.

"No answer? God! Typical Charlotte. Cold hearted bitch to the bitter end, huh? You faked your death? You walked out on me? When you _knew_ that was what my adoptive father did and you _knew_ that was what I feared most...being left behind. But you did it. And now you have the friggin audacity to come here to MY town and stand on the docks like it's the most normal thing in the world. If you came here for me...you made a mistake."

"I didn't."

"You sure as hell did. You can't just leave me ON PURPOSE and think you can ever come back from that. I want you out of Port Charles. Out of my sight. Go back to your grave, Charlotte." Carly started to cry huge angry tears. She spun away.

"I came to Port Charles to find the father of my child."

Carly looked over her shoulder at her. Softly she asked, "He walked out on you?"

Kendall bit the inside of her lip, her eyes hardened a degree. She was torn between trying to be tough and unaffected and wanting to break down. "Something like that, Caroline."

"Bastard," Carly hissed

"No, he's not. He's..."there weren't words for all the things she felt for Ryan so Kendall kept it simple "I love him. I chased him away."

Carly sighed. "A con?"

"You know me. What do you think?" asked Kendall

Carly faced her again. "I think you need to give it up- the schemes, the lies, the hustle- before you lose the only thing you have left." She motioned at Kendall's stomach.

"Did you ever give it up? You ever stop plotting and planning and working people?" Kendall asked

Carly gave her a small smile. "Only when necessary."

"But it is always necessary," said Kendall.

Carly looked at her and they were back in high school: they were emptying the pockets of the local boys and the unfaithful husbands in the neighborhood. They were fierce together, and neither would ever forget that.

(_And even though the moment _

_passed me by_

_I still can't turn away_

_  
I saw the dreams you never thought you'd lose_

_tossed along the way_

_  
Letters that you never meant to send_

_lost or thrown away)_ ( Goo Goo Dolls) 

Kendall walked over to the bench and sat down. "God, my feet are aching. This shoes are gorgeous but not _baby on board_ friendly."

Carly stared at her- loving and hating her, needing and despising her, wanting to hug her and wanting to wring her neck.

"You could have called," she pouted as she dried her tears. "Whatever made you ditch your whole life at seventeen...I would have helped you with it. Hell, I might even have gone with you."

Carly's voice dropped to a cold low whisper, "You didn't have to do it this way, Charlotte."

"It's Kendall now. Kendall Hart. Daughter of cosmetic mogul and all around star Erica Kane."

"You conned your way into the big leagues, I see."

"No. This time I got in legit. She's my birth mother. The name Kendall was just what I happened to be using when I crashed through her door the first time- a few months after I left Florida behind me for good."

Carly hissed, "And me. You left me behind for good."

Kendall looked away. "Once it was done...it was done. I knew I had gone too far to ever be forgiven. But it- your forgiveness- is all I ended up wanting after a while. Its the first thing I knew I would ask you for if I ever saw you again."

Carly looked toward the water. She thought back to high school and how they had been closer than sisters. There wasn't anything she wouldn't have done for Charlotte in those days.

"You aren't the only one who ran," Carly said "You became Kendall and I became...you."

She turned back around. "I moved here to hunt down my birth mom and make her life a living nightmare, a walking misery, a constant never ending payback for not raising me. And for a while I did just that and I used your name. I was Carly Roberts- best liar on all of the East Coast."

Kendall smiled, as she heard her old nickname for the first time in years. She had always liked the name Carly over Charlotte. Carly was kick ass. Charlotte was just...a brokenhearted teenage beauty with sad eyes.

"I used your name," Carly went on "because I had given up everything in my old life- turned my back on my adopted mom Virginia, and that backwater town we were raised in. The only thing- the ONLY thing- I kept was you. Because I had loved you and you were dead and I never wanted to forget you. And I never did. I'm still Carly now. I could have been Caroline again but since I was being Carly for both me and you...how could I let that go?"

Kendall stood up again. "I want your forgiveness, Caroline. I will beg for it if that is what you want...but I think we both know that people like us don't do forgiveness, right? When someone wrongs us we hate them and we use that hate to destroy them. Because that is the only way to make them hurt like we do. So if that is what you have in store for me, bring it on. Do your worst."

Their eyes warred with each other.

(_You grew up way too fast and now there's nothing to believe  
And reruns all become our history_

_  
A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio_

_  
and I won't tell no one your name  
I won't tell em' your name_) 

Kendall added, in a lighter tone, "But give me a few months to pop this kid out first, okay? I am not exactly in top fighting form. Even con artists deserve maternity leave, don't you think?"

Carly wanted to laugh but instead she felt herself grow weak and unsteady on her feet. Her breathing became shallow. "Damn you, Charlotte."

She started to storm off.

"Good bye, Caroline."

Carly froze.

Kendall said, "Just in case this is it for us, I thought I should say what I didn't get a chance to last time."

Carly turned around.

"You mattered to me. More than any one else did back then," Kendall said "And I never forgot you. And I never replaced you. I don't have any female friends...but you. And it will stay that way for the rest of my life."

Carly realized she had been doing the exact same thing. Not letting anyone take Charlotte's spot in her life. Jason could be her best friend because he was a man, her love, her hero. He would never leave her forever just because she loved him too much, too hard, because she was too needy. He would never do what Charlotte had done.

Charlotte and Caroline had been like mirror images of each other-not in looks but in all the secret places inside that get damaged when you are broken as a child. Now they were both adults who had remade their lives to suit the person they wanted to be...to run from the person they really were.

Kendall added, "I expect you to hate me but that doesn't change anything in my heart. You're my oldest friend- still and always. Even if you never forgive me."

Carly narrowed her eyes at her and let out a long breath. Time started to tick by slowly, every second dragging. The part of her that wanted to walk away, for spite, was miniscule compared to the part that needed to help her.

Carly finally asked, "What is the name of this ass who walked out on you and your baby?"

(_It's lonely where you are come back down,  
and I won't tell em your name) ( Goo Goo Dolls)  
__  
_


	5. Hope Don't Cost a Thing

**Chapter Five Don' t Cost a Thing**

Johnny woke up with his back aching. He had slept on some kind of antique love seat that must have been bought by Lila Quatermaine for it was as prim and proper as the matriarch of the Quatermaine family. But he wouldn't have wanted to sleep in his own king sized bed, not if it meant he couldn't be near the dark haired beauty who he still could barely believe was alive.

Brenda sat on her bed, Indian style, completely dressed already and looking like a someone who belonged in Hollywood.

She said, "You finally woke up, I see."

"You call what I was doing sleeping? This thing is a torture chamber not a couch."

She kidded him, "Well, no one made you stay."

He gave her a look that immediately made her mouth turn up into a smile, and her eyes flash with desire.

Johnny stretched, her gaze burned into him.

They had talked long into the night, with her finally revealing the identity of the monster who kept her on a yatch as his own private play thing for years. She was more like a museum piece to Luis, the most beautiful prisoner in the world, than a girlfriend or a guest. Jason had killed a few of his guards when he extracted Brenda from the boat but hadn't had the time, or the man power, to hunt down Alcazar.

Johnny planned to fix that oversight very soon. But not today. Today he wanted to spend making her feel comfortable at home again.

He said, "Who have you seen so far? Other than the Q's."

"Just Jase. And I don't know if I want to go on some _Look I am alive _tour today. Can't I just fax the Herald and let the paper spread the word?"

Johnny gave her a look that clearly said no.

"Oh, fine," she amended "I will call Sonny and Jax and Ned. But I don't want to see them yet. In fact, I may leave town as quick as I came."

He hated the sound of that but tried not it let it show in his voice. "Really? Got big plans already?"

"I'd like to hug Robin, and see what Brooklyn looks like. She grew up while I was gone, you know. I'd like to tell Lois she doesn't have to run the company alone and hold fundraisers in the name of her dead business partner. Did you know she did that?"

"We all went to them every year, Brenda."

She looked away.

He stood up and she did the same, putting on a brave face. "Well, that's over now, " she said "I'm not deceased yet. So for now I can be who Luis kept me from being all those years. I can be back where I belong. I might not have a lot of time, but I have some left, and I want to really live. I've seen the world...I've had the best of everything as far as possessions go...I was his perfect possession... but I haven't been able to love anyone in so long...I haven't made a phone call no one was listening to...I haven't said Happy Birthday to you or Jason or Julia in years...I want all that stuff back, Johnny,...hell I

I haven't even taken a walk without guards since the day Luis fished me out of the ocean..."

Softly he said, "You still need guards."

"No."

"It's not any safer, in this life, than when you left. In fact, its more dangerous than I want to even tell you right now. Even Carly stopped ditching her guards, after I had a few hundred long talks with her. You know why you need protection."

"I have protection," Brenda said, cocking her head to the side. "I have you and Jason and Francis. But that's it. No strangers. I need you guys. Or no one. I'll chance it. I can't be around nameless stoic ever watchful men I don't know anymore. That is all Luis surrounded me with all that time he had me. So say you understand or else let me take the risk cause it's non negotiable."

"You think I'd ever risk you?"

"Johnny.." she murmured softly .

He stepped closer to her. She took a breath in and out and then placed her hand on his abs. Softly, her voice betraying her heart, she begged him "Please tell me you didn't wait around four years for me...when you thought I was at the bottom of the ocean and never coming back...to you or to this town or to life at all. I hope you didn't do that for me...your too good to waste yourself like that...so tell me you didn't."

Johnny smiled as he head dipped closer to her. "Fine, I didn't."

Then his lips were softly connecting with hers, and Brenda was splaying both her hands out over his midsection. As soon as his mouth left her, his arms raised to wrap around her back and pull her into a comforting hug,

She started to cry, her tears ran onto his bare chest. "I'm sorry I left you..."

"You didn't. Come on, now, you know it wasn't your choice."

"Don't lie. I did. I wanted that fairytale bullshit Jax was offering me back then. I wanted an easy way out and because of that I wasn't with you that day my mom came to town. I put things in motion...you know I did..."

"Don't rewrite history. It's useless and don't you dare tell me this is your fault. It falls on Alcazar alone and he will get what is coming to him. As for us...just let me be here for you...I hated myself cause I wasn't there that day you needed me."

"You couldn't stop a car from going over a cliff." Her voice turned from serious to joking, as she smiled "Even our resident super hero Jason couldn't do that."

He smiled back at her.

She started to laugh, in relief mainly, that now she was free and he was here making her feel alive again.

Johnny shook his head at her and then said "I got moves Jason never even heard about."

Her mouth dropped and soon he was lifting her up and playfully tickling her. "Oh really?" Brenda laughed "I will believe it when I see it!"

**xxxxxxxxx**

**The women got in Carly's limo **and headed to Jake's.

Carly thought _I will find this ass Ryan Lavery, force him to man up and take her back, and then send them both out of Port Charles._

Being near Kendall Hart, her Charlotte back from the grave, was unnerving. It made her literally shake, and she had to use all her might to not let that show.

Carly wanted to hate her, but there was this chord running through her mind and blood and veins that was like an old song. It said that she wouldn't be able to stop loving who she loved. Charlotte was a part of her in the same way Bobbie and the Spencers were, like Michael forever would be, like Jason had been from the moment she spotted him.

Her eyes cut to the side to look at her old friend. Kendall sat there stiffly, looking like a person at a funeral instead of a reunion. Looking broken.

(_My conversation has run dry  
That's what's going on, nothing's fine_

_I'm torn_

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel  
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor 

_  
Illusion never changed into something real  
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn _

_  
You're a little late, I'm already torn _) ( Natalie Imbruglia) 

Carly's heart twisted at the sight of Kendall's expression, so guilty, nervous, and sad all at once.

_Pity is for losers_, Carly told herself when she felt her heart softening.

"Don't think I'm forgiving you," Carly spit out "Ever."

The limo stopped at a red light.

Kendall stared out the window, lost in memories.

"Ever," Carly said again.

"I got it."

"Good. This is a huge world, much bigger than we thought it was back in that trailer park. You stay in Pennsylvania with your Mommy Dearest Erica Kane and I'll stay here. Don't come back, Charlotte."

"Call me Kendall. Charlotte is dead. I killed her because I could not stand to be that damaged, pathetic girl with the big hole where her heart should have been."

Carly sighed, then her eyes drifted down to Kendall's protruding stomach. "That baby will be your new heart. Believe me. My son is mine."

Kendall smiled, as they drove on toward the bar. "You're a mom?"

"Trying to be a good one still, but yeah, I am. I had to fight damn hard to get custody of him and to not lose his father from my life but I have managed to pull it off. It took a few plans, a few failed cons, and a lot of pain, but what doesn't?"

Kendall nodded, thinking back to the times they cried in each other arms as teenagers, and then her face changed. "Ow."

Carly's eyes filled with panic.

"It's my baby. I just felt this really sharp pain, Caroline."

Carly yelled at her driver. "Get us to General Hospital now!"

XXXXXX

**One hour later**

Jason stepped off the elevator and jogged over to Carly. "Are you all right? You weren't making any sense on the phone."

"Charlotte is alive. And she's here. Here, Jase. In that room over there, about seven months pregnant and possibly going into labor. They are trying some drugs to stop it. You have to help me."

He placed both his hands on her arms. "Okay, relax, breath. Count to ten. And tell me what happened. Did she call you?" Jason paused and then asked, " Are you sure it's really her?"

"I know her like I know me. It's her. I stumbled over her on the docks. She claims she didn't know I lived here. Charlotte calls herself Kendall Hart these days and she's the kid of this mega star in the cosmetics business. One of my chief rivals, actually."

Jason led Carly over to the waiting area to sit down. "What is she doing in Port Charles, if its not about you?"

"She's in love with some jerk who left her knocked up." Carly gave him a long look filled with pain. "You need to go and drag his loser ass out of Jake's. He supposedly works there as a bartender."

Carly reached in her purse and pulled out a worn around the edges photograph. "Kendall - she insists I call her that- gave this to me. This is him. Ryan Lavery. You drag him by his hair if you need to but I want him here."

"I think I'll just try asking him first."

"No, Jase, tell him. Tell him that he can't treat her this way and think he is getting away with it."

Jason nodded and took the photo. He didn't stand up right away, and soon Carly was leaning nearer to rest her head against his.

"How are you doing?" he asked softly

"This was harder than Brenda really being alive, I'll tell you that. I loved Charlotte, Jase, and she left me...she left me...she..." Carly gulped down a sob.

His hand lifted to cup her cheek. "Let me take you home."

"I can't leave her. Just go get that jackass."

Jason pulled away, wiped a tear off her cheek and gave her a steadying look that made her calm down in an instant. He said, "I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Thank you. You know..."

"Yeah, I know," he said in a voice so low in was almost beneath his breath. His eyes held hers as she leaned toward him.

She kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear. "I love you."

XXXXXXXX

Kendall lay in the hospital bed and did her best to not fall apart.

The nurse said she had to stay calm. Kendall didn't know how a person could do that when all they ever wanted, ever loved, ever needed was right within their reach and still not theirs.

Caroline. Ryan. Her baby.

So close and, probably, far enough away to never really be hers to touch. If her baby died...she surely would not survive that. It would be the thing the ended her, the final nail in her coffin, and Caroline and Ryan might not ever care that she was gone. She only had herself to blame for all this, and that made a bitter tasting bile rise in her throat.

(_So I guess the fortune teller's right  
should have seen just what was there and not some holy light _

_  
To crawl beneath my veins and now _

_  
I don't care, I have no luck, I don't miss it all that much  
There's just so many things that I can't touch, _

_I'm torn _)

**Carly stepped back into the room. **She wasn't smiling but she didn't look as pissed as earlier, or as filled with conflicting emotions of anger and hurt and disappointment that her old friend was actually not dead.

"Any pain now?" Carly asked

"No."

Carly kept her distance. She leaned against the wall, fidgeting.

Kendall said "You can go."

"Hmm. Sure I can. Then you can say I am the one who ditched you in your time of need. No, that's alright. I'll stay till that ex of yours gets here."

"You called Ryan?"

"Called? Ha. Haven't you been hunting this man down for months now. A call probably would go ignored, sorry to say." Carly smiled " I did something much better and sent Jason after him."

"The father of your son?"

"Yep and my everything. He'll find your guy and have him here before you know it."

Kendall let out a shaky breath. "At least you got a happy ending. That is more than either of us expected back in the day. How long have you been married?"

"I'm divorced from Jason's brother and getting divorced from his former best friend. Don't ask. It's a bad story I hate telling. I actually lost Jason for about three years. It was all my fault. I was...sort of insane when I moved here. Just wild, mad at everyone, scheming every day for no good reason. He met me and didn't know what to think. But he couldn't resist...either could I...and now we're getting back together, slowly...I need it to work out this time. It has to...I can't be without him."

Kendall bit her lip, overcome with flashes of the past and thoughts of the man who held her heart. Ryan had to forgive her. But she figured he wouldn't want to bother with her. He might care about his kid, but he was more than likely already over her.

(_There's nothing where he used to lie  
My inspiration has run dry _

_  
That's what's going on, nothings right,_

_I'm torn_

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel  
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor  
Illusion never changed into something real 

_  
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn  
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel _)

Carly slowly walked her way over to Kendall's bed, taking in the teary look that came into her eyes.

Carly let out a breath and then reached for her hand. "No breaking down, now, you hear? This baby is counting on you. And I'm getting Ryan back by your side, believe that. It is all gonna work out."

"You buy that? Really?"

"It doesn't cost anything to hope. Remember how we used to say that when we were broke trailer trash wanna be runway models?"

"Hope don't cost a thing," Kendall said, squeezing her hand but her eyes stayed hallow.

Kendall Hart believed that it was probably too late in the game to waste time on hoping. She was the woman who never won, no matter how hard she fought, and she was scared to death she was about to lose it all in one day. She squeezed Caroline's hand and prayed she was wrong about that.

(_I'm cold and I'm ashamed, bound and broken on the floor _

_  
You're a little late, I'm already torn. )_

_Note- thanks to anyone reading this tale._


	6. A Family Thing

**Chapter Six A Family Thing**

**October 2002**

Ryan worked behind the bar next to Coleman. The place was filled with a lunch crowd of office workers looking to blow off steam.

He hadn't been feeling right all day. Kendall was on his mind, her face running through his thoughts, and he kept worrying something was wrong with her. He actually picked up the phone and called home to Pine Valley for the first time in months.

Erica had said Kendall left town herself and her mother blamed Ryan for it. She used to be his biggest fan, but now Erica was just another woman he let down.

"Need a beer?" Ryan asked the man who had just stormed up to the bar. He wore a leather jacket and a brutal _I want to kill someone_ expression.

"You Lavery?"

Ryan stilled. No one came in here asking that. He told Coleman he was Ron Smith.

"Whose asking?"

"You're him. You need to come with me now."

Coleman stepped over. "Hey, Morgan, you got an issue with my best bartender?"

One look from Jason and Coleman threw up a hand in a motion that said he was backing off. He turned his attention to the bar patrons again.

Jason said to Ryan, "I will say this once. You will ask no questions. When I am done you will come with me willingly and quietly. If not, I will take you out of here by force and you can do what you think you can to try and stop me. It won't work, though, and none of these people in this bar will help you- if you were thinking they might."

Ryan leaned back, away from him. He wondered if the cons and lies of his past were catching up to him.

Jason went on, "Kendall Hart is at the local hospital right now, pregnant with your child and possibly about to lose him or her. Do you understand?"

Ryan started to suck in huge gulps of air. "What? How do you know her? What happened?"

"We are leaving now. Lets go."

Ryan slammed his hands down on the bar. "Give me some answers. She's my... was my fiancee a few months ago..."

It took a long moment before the man standing in front of him spoke. Jason asked "You ever heard of Caroline Benson?"

"Her best friend from Florida, yeah. Sure. Why? I'm not following."

"Caroline is now Carly. Like Charlotte is now Kendall. They ran into each other today. They are both across town at General Hospital wondering what the hell made you walk away from the woman who loves you. I don't really care what your reasons were...just come with me now...before I haul you over this bar and out the door."

XXXXXXXXX

**30 minutes later**

Ryan walked into the hospital room and saw Kendall clutching the hand of a blond who immediately shot daggers at him.

"About damn time you showed up," Carly said "Ryan, right?"

"Yes." His eyes moved to Kendall. "You okay? The ba..." he couldn't get the word out.

She only said, looking down, "I'm not sure yet."

Carly let go of her hand, leaned down and whispered "Give him hell," then she was straightening and storming past Ryan, tossing him a disgusted look.

Kendall's eyes met his for the first time in five months. He tried to catch his breath. After a long minute he said, "I wish I knew you were pregnant before I left."

"Who says this is your kid?"

He froze then saw the way her eyes were wide with fear. She was testing him. He moved closer to her. "I wouldn't have left you with a child to raise alone."

"But you would leave me...just me...I wasn't worth staying for on my own."

"You both deserve so much better than me."

She stared at him, with her lip quivering, "We want you though, you jerk."

He gave her a small smile. "Please tell me nothing is wrong with our kid."

"I wish I could...But if I go into labor now...it's way too soon..." her voice broke and he came and sat on her bed, taking both her hands into his. "I don't want to lose our son...especially not like this...I want to hold him, Ryan. I came all this way to find you and tell you he was coming soon, that our baby needed you as much as I do, but I must have pushed myself too hard...I caused this."

"No, the blame is mine."

Kendall said, "I shouldn't have ever came on to Aiden that night..."

"Shhh."

She looked at him, her brown eyes filled with tears. He kissed her cheek, one then the other, and then placed a hand on her stomach. "I should have stayed and that is all there is to the story. But I'm not leaving you now. Though I may have to fight your old friend Caroline and her boyfriend in order to be with you. They both seem to think I'm scum."

"I might have had something to do with that," she joked

"Thanks," he chuckled.

"I never thought..." Kendall's voice fell to a whisper "I wasn't supposed to ever see her again, you know? That was my punishment for walking out on her. Life long ex communicated. I didn't know she lived in Port Charles. I might not even of come here if I knew she did. Cause I never wanted to hurt her. I came here looking for you...I've been all over this damn country in little hick towns and cruddy run down ghetto neighborhoods and suburb after same looking suburb searching for you, Ryan. You did a great job of never staying in one place long...Ron Smith?"

"Yeah, some alias. It was bland and nondescript. You know that works best for a con."

She nodded. "Aiden finally found you for me. He is just a friend, I swear. I needed help and he was there for me.."

"It's fine. I understand. I never really thought you were with him. I just thought I wasn't good enough to be with you anymore."

Her voice was small when she whimpered, "Why would you think that?"

Ryan brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes and said "Cause I'm not. But I'm gonna work on that- for you and our son."

XXXXXXXXXX

**Carly and Jason stood outside of Kendall's **room. "I think I should go in there, Jase."

"I'm sure she will scream if she needs you."

"He makes her scream," Carly said "and I will make him scream, you can bet on that."

Jason tugged her close to him and rubbed her back. "How did she explain not dying in that car wreck?"

"She faked her own death. Like Brenda did."

"Brenda didn't though. She was basically a prisoner of Luis Alcazar."

Carly asked, "So how are you going to make him pay for that? And can I watch?"

Jason gave her a warning look but smiled. He knew she hated any man who terrorized a woman, even her enemy.

He said, "You let me take care of Luis, later. Have you talked to Johnny yet today?"

"No. He took off to see Brenda last night and you know he didn't come back to my place. He hasn't called in?"

Jason shook his head, no. "I didn't realize ...him and her ...I would have told him differently. First. Let him come with me to find her. Did you know?"

"Not a clue. If I even suspected Johnny wanted Brenda I would have taken him in to have his head examined."

Without any anger, Jason asked "You can't let anything go, can you?"

"She was the fourth person in my marriage!"

Jason raised an eyebrow.

Carly went on. "You were the third. Sonny and I were never really alone together. Our ghosts stayed right by our sides. I want better for me and you this time...don't let Sonny be between us for the rest of our lives..."

He leaned close to her. "He's not here right now, as far as I am concerned. All I see when I look at you is my best friend, the mother of my kid, the one...I would choose over and over again...save over and over again...let talk me into crazy plans that will never work just because I don't know how to not let you..."

She smiled. Jason leaned down and let his lips brush over hers.

"Oh my...hell no." Brenda said.

They looked over and saw that her and Johnny had just came off the elevator.

She starting shaking her head, but smiling, as they walked over. "You so lied to me, Morgan."

"I did not."

"So did too. I asked 'Are you with anyone? That banshee?' and you said ..."

"Now hold up here," Carly started "who you calling a banshee?"

"In the nicest way possible," Brenda said with a flick of her wrist, dismissing her.

Carly gaped at Johnny with a _You like her? _look on her face.

Brenda joked with Jason "You big liar! You are with her. In fact..." she peered at him. "oh, Jase, no...you love her. Oh...God, you poor thing."

"Your sense of humor needs work," Jason said lightly.

"Who is joking?" she asked

Carly told her, "Well you better be!"

Johnny said to Brenda "You have an appointment, remember?"

"Right. Okay...well, Carly, it was great, as always, to see you." The irony was dripping off each word.

"Yeah, a thrill for me too," Carly rolled her eyes.

Brenda slapped Jason's arm playfully and mouthed "Liar," before walking off.

Johnny asked them, "Everything okay? What brought you here today?"

"My past. It showed up in the form of a seven month pregnant ex- best friend of mine."

He raised an eyebrow.

Carly filled in "Charlotte. Not so dead, after all."

"Oh..." he said softly and touched her arm. "You okay?"

She nodded. "What about you...how are you dealing with Brenda being back? And are you sure you like her _like that _cause she is not who I would choose for you, at all."

Jason said, "Don't interfere."

Johnny said, "It would mean a lot to me..."

"Oh, please no," Carly groaned

"If you could get along with her," Johnny finished

She complained, "Ugh, ugh, oh, fine. Fine. I suppose."

Johnny smiled at her, nodded at Jason and went to find the office where Brenda was getting tests done to see if she had the disease that affected her mother.

Carly looked at Jason. "Now I can't even hate her anymore. This blows."

He laughed. "Well, you can still hate Sonny, if that will help any."

"Don't worry about that one. I so do. Two years was more than enough to be with that man. Time never drug by so slowly..."

Just then Ryan stepped into the hall. "She wants to see you both."

_NOTE- In this story, I see Jason and Brenda as being surrogate siblings and the same for Carly and Johnny. _


	7. Won't Let You Down

**Chapter Seven**

**Won't Let You Down**

_Note- Thanks for reading. This story is so AU that it is hard to know if people will like it but it has been great fun to bring together my two favorite female characters and have them interact. Your reviews have been very helpful and made me smile. So thanks!_

**October 2002 - **

Jason and Carly walked into the hospital room. Kendall was looking calmer and more at peace.

Carly asked, "So?"

"Ryan is taking me back to Pine Valley as soon as I'm released."

Carly nodded. Jason saw the pain flicker through her eyes, so did Kendall, but Ryan missed it. He could only concentrate on the woman he loved and the baby he just found out about.

"Good," Carly said. After a second she introduced Jason and Kendall. "Okay, Jase, this is the infamous Charlotte- ex-cheerleader, bad girl, and man chaser, just like me. Call her Kendall. She likes it better now."

She went on, "Charlotte, this is Jason Morgan. We don't ask about his job but call him when...the con doesn't work out or the world just majorly sucks. He's great at making that better. And we all know Ryan..." Carly looked at him and asked "You manage to pull your head out of your ass now?"

Kendall told her, "We worked it out. Pipe down."

"Well, I just think a real man wouldn't high tail it out of town when you were carrying his baby and make you trek around half the continental USA to try and find him but that is just my take on it ..."

"Carly."

"What, Jase?"

They looked at each other and she shrugged.

Ryan said "You're right. Though I didn't know about the baby and I really thought Kendall was better off without me. I can see how you two became friends in Florida though, you both have spitfire tempers when someone you love is being messed with."

Kendall and Carly both swallowed, as chills ran over them, and they looked at each other. What they felt was love amplified, it was beyond sisters, it was beyond making sense.

Dr. Lee stepped into the room. "Can I speak to the patient alone?"

Kendall cleared her throat. "It's fine. This is the baby's father and they're ... it's fine."

"If you say so. Well it looks like your contractions have stopped, as you must know, but I'm afraid you will have to be on complete bed rest until you deliver."

Kendall and Ryan both opened their mouth to ask a question but Carly, with concern in her tone, beat them to it. "Does she have to stay in the hospital?"

"No. But she can not have any stress for the next six weeks or so. Or else, Ms. Hart, you will be back here and we might not be able to prevent an early delivery."

"I understand.," Kendall said " Can you transfer my records to Pine Valley Hospital in Pennsylvania? I'll be heading home as soon as you say I'm up for traveling."

The doctor said, "That will be about three days after you give birth."

"What?" asked Kendall and Carly in unison.

Dr. Lee said, "No plane rides, no train, definitely no bus and I would not even attempt a long car ride if I was you. You need to find a bed here in town and stay in it, if you want to protect this pregnancy."

Kendall looked at Ryan. "Room for one more?"

"Actually, no. I live over a bar. But I will find us someplace."

Carly sighed loudly.

Kendall said to her, "Don't even think about it."

"I wasn't."

Kendall raised her eyebrow.

Carly repeated "I wasn't!" But her face said she was.

The two old friends stared at each other, having a whole conversation without words.

(_Well tell me_

_do you think it'd be alright  
if I could just crash here tonight?_

_  
You can see I'm no shape for driving,  
and anyway I got no place to go._

Yet, you know it might not be that bad.

_You were the best I'd ever had._

_If I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago  
I might not be alone._

Tomorrow we can drive around this town  
and let the cops chase us around.  
The past is gone but something might be found  
to take it's place

_  
Hey jealousy  
Hey jealousy  
Hey jealousy Hey jealousy _) ( Gin Blossoms)

**Jason finally spoke up. **"I can call a real estate agent and have you a place by the time you are done here."

"I know of a perfect apartment," Carly said slowly, as if she hated to make the suggestion but had no choice in the matter.

Kendall studied her, about to object, thinking that Carly wanted Kendall to move in with her. That would certainly be too much too ask at this point, Kendall felt.

"Across the hall from mine. It's available and furnished and I can keep on eye on you," she said to Kendall, then glared at Ryan "and make sure _you_ are the Daddy material you better the hell be."

Ryan said "Works for me, what about you, Kendall?"

She asked Carly, "Are you sure? Completely...utterly...positively... we could kill each other and I need no drama right now."

"I'm a drama free zone," Carly said "Ask anyone."

Jason laughed . She gave him a look that made him stop.

Carly said to Kendall, "I know you didn't come here for me...but you are here... and I'm here...and you need me...okay? You just do. So take the stupid apartment, let me redecorated cause I so rock at doing that, and just pop out a healthy kid, kay? Okay. I have to go now cause I have ...things to arrange... but my address is," she told her " just knock on the door when you get out of here. And if I am not there tell the hot guy standing outside my door who you are and he will give you a key to your new place."

"You don't have to," Kendall said in a _I know everything is not forgiven _voice.

"Yeah, I do... and you know it," Carly said then spun on her heel and left, with Jason trailing behind her.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Dr.Lee told them some more about Kendall's condition and then left. Ryan asked Kendall "That's Caroline, huh? They call her Carly, like they used to call you in high school. That a coincidence?"

"She took my name. She missed me."

"I'm sure she must have. You always said she's your best friend."

"The best one I will ever get. After you, she's...someone it is near impossible for me to walk away from. But I did just that. And, no matter what she says now, Caroline is not going to easily get over it. She might never forgive me, she might be really glad to see us leave in a two months and then never speak to me again."

Ryan took her hand again. "Or she might still love you, like you love her. She might forgive everything you did."

"It doesn't work that way. Not with us. I knew the price when I bailed."

"You more than paid for it. Tell her how bad things got at your worst point. Tell her you need her. Or I could for you..."

"No. She will see it or she won't. We never had to say all that stuff. That's how I know how angry she is right now."

"And that is how she must know," Ryan said "how sorry you are and how much you care for her still."

Kendall nodded and then he leaned over and kissed her. He murmured, "And I'm sorry and I love you."

(_And you can trust me not to think  
and not to sleep around ._

_If you don't expect too much from me ,  
you might not be let down._

Cause all I really want is to be with you  
feeling like I matter, too.

_If I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago  
I might be here with you_

Tomorrow we can drive around this town  
and let the cops chase us around.

_  
The past is gone but something might be found  
to take it's place  
Hey jealousy )_

Ryan went on, " And I will work for your forgiveness..."

"You have it."

"That quick?"

Kendall smiled, with tears in her eyes, "I love you, idiot."

"See? That could be just what Caroline is thinking about you."

xxxxxxxxx

**Carly didn't say a word **to Jason as they left the hospital, but he could see all her conflicting emotions on her face. He reached out for her hand, and she not only took his but, for a moment, her whole body leaned against his arm, drawing in strength and just letting herself rest on him.

Still silent, they made their way to his SUV and Jason took her home.

"You sure you want her living right across the hall from you?" he finally asked when they pulled up in front of her apartment building.

Carly let out a frustrated breath. "No, I'm not sure. But...I'm sure I can't abandon her even if she did just that to me."

She looked away. "She's alive, Jase. I prayed for years that her soul was at peace. I've carried her with me...I've lived for her, thinking she couldn't do it for herself. I've talked out loud to her in the middle of the night when I was desperate or lonely... and now she's here... but can I forgive her? Should I even want to?"

"Only you know that."

"I hate what she did."

He nodded.

"But I don't hate her," Carly said "How could I? We were everything to each other back then...I see her and it's like seeing my whole past. Seeing everything I wrecked and now it isn't anymore. Now it's whole and here and the one thing I never thought anyone really got- a second chance- I could have that with her...like I have that with you. I could turn my back on her but then I'd never get over any of this...and Charlotte needs me. I have never let her down yet when she needed me..."

After a moment, they climbed out of the car and they headed inside. "I'm going to have her checked out," he said "see what's she's been up to all these years."

"You'll find out she's done every horrible thing you can imagine. Just like everyone around here thinks I have. That's not the whole story about her, just like it isn't about me. Charlotte...Kendall...whatever...she's complicated and sometimes she wrecks lives, and sometimes she wrecks herself. Sound like anyone you know?"

He opened the door to the manager's office for her. Jason said "You already made up your mind, haven't you? You're forgiving her."

"No. But I know that you don't have to forgive your family to still love them." Carly gave him an exhausted and rueful smile, letting him know they were in for the ride of their lives, now that they were back together and now that she had her other best friend back.

It was going to be messy, he was sure, but if it healed that broken place inside of Carly that was created when she believed Charlotte died, then he would be more than worth it to Jason to put up with Kendall, Ryan, their baby on the way, and whatever drama they would bring with them.

His mind drifted back to last night, how Carly had opened up her body, heart and soul to him, saying words he longed to hear for years, showing him how he affected her, how she loved him at the core of who she was...it was something he would never forget and something he would always fight to keep in his life.

He had tried to step away from her, for the sake of keeping all of their lives sane, but now he could see that there was no way possible to be happy without Carly holding his hand, without her looking at him with eyes filled with love, without being able to kiss her and raise their son together. Jason was grateful they were a couple again, on this day, and that he could be there for her every step of the way with this Charlotte situation.

He hated to try and imagine the future, his brain didn't really work that way, but for what he could see of his days to come, he wanted Carly right by his side. It was the only way he knew how to live in this world, loving her and their son with all he was.

He used to think he could give that up. Now he knew that had only been a lie.

(_Tomorrow we can drive around this town And let the cops chase us around _

_  
The past is gone but something might be found  
To take it's place _

_  
Hey jealousy_)


	8. Save Me

**Chapter Eight**

**October 2002 Save Me**

**General Hospital examining room.**

"I can't stand to just sit here," said Brenda as she fidgeted in her seat." and wait for that doctor to come back in and tell me what I already know. Johnny, whether I want to face it or not, I have the same thing my mother did. I'm well on my way to being even crazier than Carly is...and that is pretty damn crazy."

"We don't know anything yet." He took her hand, loving the fact that he could do that now.

They hadn't talked much about their feelings. They were just taking it slow and letting it be whatever it was.

Johnny had no doubt they would work out, no doubt he could happily spend his life with her. Hell, he had been in love with her for over five years already. Her being gone didn't lessened that one bit for him.

( _Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you._

_By now you should have somehow realized what you've got to do._

_I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now_. ) ( Oasis)

She calmed down, slightly, as her eyes focused on his. "That was the only good thing about being with Luis...I didn't care if he watched me slowly slip away...I can't do that in front of anyone here...I won't."

"If it comes to that-which it won't because there are doctors all over this planet and one of them must be able to develop a cure for this-but if it ever did..." his voice was earnest and intense "I'll take you away from here if that is what you want."

Brenda jerked her hands away. "Absolutely not! You can't see me like that...not like that. No."

He titled his head to the side and spoke in just as stubborn voice as her. "How I feel for you isn't dependent on looks or even sanity. Got it?"

_(Backbeat, _

_the word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out._

_I'm sure _

_you've heard it all before, but you never really had a doubt._

_I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now_. )

She was studying him, with her mouth in a pout, when the doctor came back in. Brenda started to fidget again, then reached for Johnny's hand.

The doctor spoke, and they both heard the words in a strange slow motion, "There is no sign of any disease in your body and you have tested negative for the gene mutation. There is no reason to believe you won't leave a long life, Ms. Barret."

Brenda's let out a gasp, then started shocked and ended happy. Her eyes focused on Johnny and the moment she saw tears in them, she knew...she was bound to fall in love with the man standing before her right now, this man who squeezed her hands- because he was too choked up to speak- and showed her that her health meant as much to him as it did her.

She hadn't promised him a thing yet. And that is what made him special to her. Brenda believed that no matter if she dated him or not, he would love her just as strongly, fight for her, protect her, take on the world to keep her safe.

And now she knew she would have the time to love him back, and show him just what all he did for her back in the day, and now, meant to her. She would have time to show Johnny her heart.

(_And all the roads we have to walk along were_

_winding._

_And all the lights that lead us there are_

_blinding._

_There are so many things that I would like to say to you,_

_but I don't know how_. )

A rush of relief and joy flooded her body and, as the doctor slipped from the room, she fell into Johnny's arms and he hugged her close to his chest, while murmuring in her ear, "See it's going to all be okay."

xxxxxxxxxx

It was around seven pm when Carly knocked on Kendall's apartment door.

Leticia and Michael stood next to her. Max was guarding her door.

When no one answered after a moment, Carly slid in her spare key and stuck her head inside. "Hey, you here?"

"Grounded to bed per doctors orders," Kendall grumbled from the bedroom.

When Carly got to her room, Kendall said "So you snagged a key for yourself, I take it?"

"This town is dangerous, deadly actually. I have to be able to check in on you, don't I?"

"Snoop, butt in and try and run my life , you mean," Kendall joked

"Would I do that?"

"If you are anything like that girl I knew in Florida, than yes."

Carly scrunched her nose at her. "I have someone for you to meet. Try not to be a bitch."

"I'll try."

Carly smiled and then called for her son to come into the room. Michael smiled at her. "Hey, Aunt Charlotte."

"He's a little confused," Carly apologized. "All his life I have shown him pictures of you and called you that, so naturally..." Then she said to her child, "Mr. Man, remember I explained that now she goes by Kendall."

"Okay. But this is your sister Charlotte, right?"

"Like a sister, and yes. Okay, baby, go back across the hall with Leticia. It's almost bedtime."

Kendall said, "It was wonderful to meet you, Michael."

"You, too! Mom is so happy you aren't an angel anymore." Then he ran out of the room.

Carly came over to the bed and sat down. "I tried to explain it all to him but I guess I didn't do the greatest job. Jason will have a talk with him. They have a special connection and Jason knows just how to give Michael what he needs, even at the times when I don't."

"You son is really adorable. Where does the red hair come from?"

"My birth mom, Barbara Jean Spencer."

"Do you get along with her?"

"Now we do but she used to hate my guts. I came to town with the express purpose to ruin her life. I succeeded in killing her marriage, and it didn't take me long at all. That was one plan I wished never worked out."

"You think that's bad? I caused Erica to stab her then husband Dimitri cause I conned her into thinking he raped me. And you want to know why I did all that?"

"Cause you could."

Kendall said, "No, because I convinced myself I loved Dimitri. He was older, the first man who was decent to me ...ever. So, of course, I destroyed his life."

"Naturally."

"God, only you would get that, Carly." Kendall paused then added "It's odd to call you my name."

"It's odd to be talking to you. I almost worry I am really back in the mental hospital speaking to my pillow."

"You went nuts?" Kendall's face was clouded with pain. "Did I..."

"Cause it? No. It was just a con."

"Oh," she chuckled. "Did it work?"

"Like a charm. It saved me a prison sentence for attempted murder." Carly paused and then asked, "So where is that ass of a boyfriend of yours?"

"Out on a chocolate run. I'm craving ice cream this trimester." Kendall said "You know, you really need to give him a break. He didn't dump me...we were a few days from being married and he walked in on me wearing just a bra with some hot British ex- military man...it didn't look good so he bailed."

Carly immediately thought of Jason walking in on her and Sonny. She had been so close to finally having Jason for her own before that moment, and then it was just a mess again. One they were still recovering from till this day.

She could still see the look in Jason's eye when they connected with hers on that morning.

(_Today was gonna be the day but they'll never throw it back to you._

_By now you should have somehow realized what you're not to do._

_I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now_.)

Carly asked, "Did you fall for the other guy?"

"No. It wasn't anything like that, at all. I was trying to pry info out of him. Ryan didn't wait around for answers though. I know now that I can't be a con artist, be full of hate, lie, cheat, obliterate people who don't see it coming and expect to have my life work out. I can have Ryan's love, raise my baby, and be normal or I can be a crazy, life wrecking wench. But not both. It's time for me to give up all the...revenge on the world crap...and grow up. How did you do it?"

"Who says I did?"

"You must have. Look at your life. You have this man who would do anything for you...who really gets you...who comes running when you call..."

Carly said, "You only met Jason once."

"I can read people." Kendall smiled. "You know that. I'm the one who taught you how to do the same thing. He loves you. I saw it. And you have your son, and a good relationship with your mom. You got past what we were as kids. Now I have to do the same."

Carly studied her for a moment and then said "It was easier when we just didn't give a damn, wasn't it?"

"Yes, and a hell of a lot more fun."

Both women smiled. Kendall added, "Okay I want to know everything about those two ex-husbands of yours and exactly what con or game you were working on them...come on, spill. I have two months of nothing to do but listen to you talk and watch talk shows, and your life is a hell of a lot more interesting than those. So talk slowly and don't leave out the good parts..."

Carly's grin only grew. Then tears pricked the back of her eyes. She had dreamed of a moment like this, having her best girl friend around to swap stories with and confide in. She wanted to hate Charlotte for pretending to be dead but all she could think about was how she was alive, here, and that was a miracle.

"Well, it all started when I met Jason in a bar, Jake's, where that gorgeous jerk you love works..."

xxxxxxx

Jason and Ryan found them like that, both leaning against the backboard, deep in conversation an half hour later.

Carly locked eyes with Jason, "Hey."

"He got lost," Jason nodded at Ryan. "I noticed him circling the neighborhood on his bike."

"All these buildings look alike," Ryan said. "So, everything okay in here? How are you feeling, Kendall?"

"Perfect," she replied as she shared a look with Carly, and now it was time for the tears to cloud her eyes. "Where's my chocolate?"

"In the freezer."

Carly told her, "I should go...I guess. You call me if you feel any pains overnight, okay?" She spouted of her number, while giving Ryan a look that said _Shouldn't you be writing this down?_

Kendall said, "If I have any pains I'll just call Dr. Meadows. I'm not going to wake you up every time the baby kicks."

Carly objected, "Don't leave me in the dark! That's not cool."

"Fine. I'll call you, but I feel fine, seriously."

Carly stood up but didn't walk away. After a second of trying to convince herself not to do it, she hugged Kendall.

(_And all the roads that lead to you were_

_winding._

_And all the lights that light the way are_

_blinding._

_There are so many things that I would like to say to you but_

_I don't know how.)_

Immediately, Kendall raised her arms to embrace her back. Carly let out a ragged breath, that was halfway to being a sob, before pulling back.

"Don't get out of bed for anything," Carly ordered "Make Ryan do it all for you. That is what he is here for and if he can't handle it then I will call in help for you both...you got it?"

"We'll be fine. Your nephew is going to arrive right on time, perfectly healthy. He has to. I won't accept anything else."

Carly nodded and then headed for the door, sliding her hand into Jason's as she left. Ryan went to walk them to the door.

Kendall could hear Carly yell at Ryan in the living room, a minute later, "Take good care of her, you understand me? You better!"

Kendall could only laugh at that point.

And, in that moment, she realized some of the pain that she always carried inside of her, from the past sins she committed and those committed against her, was a little less than it had been before she spotted Caroline on the docks.

(_I said, maybe,_

_You're gonna be the one that saves me._

_But after all You're my wonder wall_

_But after all You're my wonder wall _

_Said, maybe, You're gonna be the one that saves me _

_Said maybe You're gonna be the one that saves me _

_You're gonna be the one that saves me _

_You're gonna be the one that saves me _

_You're gonna be the one that saves me _)


	9. Coming On Quick

**Chapter Nine**

_Note- Thanks for reading up to this point. This starts the second act of The Unforgiven. It's been great to write about Carly and Kendall knowing each other. They are my all time favorite soap heroines. Plus I have never believed Carly needed/wanted any girlfriends in her life, because she could never replace Charlotte so it's been great to give her that connection back. That is the one thing I didn't get about Guza's take on Reese. Charlotte was important to Carly but Reese never was, it took away from the emotional impact of Charlotte coming back from the grave._

**December 2002 Coming On Quick**

Time went on, October faded into November, and then December came.

Jason didn't comment much on Kendall or Ryan over the months that they were in town, instead he let his actions speak for him. He put in a call to Justus and Ryan started working for ELQ. He showed him the best spots to go for motorcycle rides around town. And he ordered the guards watching Carly's door to protect Kendall with their lives.

He spent most of his nights sleeping at Carly's place, spending time with her and with his son. It felt unnatural to be away from them for more than eight hours at a time now. The only period, in the last few months, when Jason had to break that rule was to go out of town and handle Luis Alcazar. Johnny had been the one to put the bullets in the man's head, but Jason had wanted to see it done with his own eyes, and to be there to back up his friend.

It was just a week before Christmas when the snowstorm hit. Jason, Johnny, Brenda were on their way home from having dinner at the Grille when their SUV slid into a ditch.

Brenda was the only one to scream.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Carly was hanging out with Kendall at her apartment. They were in the living room, with Carly in a chair and nine month pregnant Kendall on the couch.

Each day they grew closer, but it wasn't all sweetness and sugar. Carly used to trust Kendall with her heart, her secrets, and her fears. She tried to do the same thing now but kept wondering if Kendall would have her baby, go back to Pine Valley, and never speak to Carly again. It terrified her. Not only because she loved her friend but because Carly's biggest insecurity was that she wasn't enough to keep someone from leaving, that no matter how much love she gave she could be abandoned at any moment.

She told herself that wouldn't happen again. She told herself she didn't care if it did. But that was a lie, and it didn't do much good to lie to yourself. Carly knew that. But in desperate moments of doubt- when Jason wasn't around to soothe her fears- she did it anyway.

Kendall complained "How can I be this fat and still able to walk around?"

"You aren't supposed to be walking around, so don't worry about it."

"How can I not? Do you see the size of my feet? They don't make Manolo Blahniks in moose size. Not to mention all my cute little dresses will never again fit over my hips..."

"Aww, poor baby."

"You could be a little more sympathetic."

" I could but I don't feel like it," Carly teased her.

Carly was there because Ryan was working late at the office. It was getting close to Kendall's due date and they didn't like to leave her alone.

Ryan mentioned he was having nightmares about her going into labor and not being able to get to the hospital. The whole idea freaked him out so bad he was planning to make tonight his last day at work till the baby was born.

"Some best friend you are," Kendall joked back and then stilled, realizing what she had just said.

They both thought of each other as beyond best friends, as real sisters, but they never said that aloud now. They danced around it, letting Michael keep calling Kendall 'Aunt Charlotte', and tried to feel each other out about exactly what was forgiven and what never would be.

Kendall's voice became somber as she added, "Carly... you need to know...that it does mean a lot to me that you've been here for me everyday for two months now. All those years after I left Florida I kept hoping I would turn a corner and see you."

Her voice softened, Kendall added, " I couldn't look you up...that was part of my penitence...but I did hope to run into you...still all I expected if I ever did was one short conversation where you told me to rot in the fiery pits of Hell...cause that is what I deserved to hear."

"Don't..."

"It's true. You know it. We both have destroyed people and left them a crying mess on the floor, shattered. The only difference is on my list of people who I did that to...is your name. And I know now you would never treat me that way back. I didn't think you were just collateral damage ...please believe that...I was just really desperate and selfish and wanting to escape. It wasn't enough to just run away from home...I had to be a new person and that meant killing the old one...I hooked up with some guy who worked at a morgue and he put the idea in my head that I could slip an unclaimed body in the car, ram it into a tree, set it on fire and no one would think it wasn't me. He didn't make me do it, he was a sap, my pansy, just another guy to work over. I got my freedom and the only thing I ever regretted was leaving you behind." Kendall swiped at a tear on her cheek. " I love you, Caroline."

Carly sucked in a gulp of air. Before she could say a word, Kendall was crying out "Ow! Oh... I think I just had a contraction..." she panted for a minute and then said "Oh, there is another one."

Carly jumped up. "What do you mean another one? They don't come that quick at first."

"Well, they just did...OW...okay, baby, you need to chill out." Kendall tried to stand up. Carly ordered her to sit back down.

"Let me call Ryan and Jase to meet us at the hospital. I'll get Max to bring the car around. Or maybe I should get an ambulance. Yeah, I'll just get an ambulance that would be-"

"OW! There's another one."

"What? Are you freaking kidding me? Slow down, Kendall, will you? Man, you _over do _everything." Carly ran to the phone. It was dead. The storm knocked the lines out. She grabbed her cell, no signal.

"Call someone!" Kendall moaned

Carly ran into the hall and drug Max back inside. "It's time. My nephew is intent on rushing his way into the world so we have to get Kendall to the limo and to General Hospital quick."

Max froze. "Mrs. C..." He stared at her with a lost look.

"Please don't be gawking at her now," Kendall complained "Ow...oh...man, that is intense. Max, help me up."

"I'm sorry but...the news announced about a while ago that the roads are all but impassable. The bridge is pure ice. I can't risk taking either of you out in that. We'd never make it to the hospital in one piece."

Carly shrieked "Unless you can deliver a baby, Maxwell Giambetti, then we have no choice!"

Kendall cried out as another contraction hit.

Carly went to her side. "Okay, try and relax. First babies come slow. Really. Like turtles. In fact, this could be braxton hicks, false labor. Because it usually comes on slower than this."

"Well I've been feeling tense all day. My back is killing me. And I don't think this is any warm-up session. This is the really deal, Carly. OWWWW...oh my god, I want Ryan. Get him here right now. And I want a doctor and drugs and a nice clean hospital and ohhhhhhh...Caroline, don't leave me okay? I can't do this alone."

Carly got her settled against some pillows on the couch and made her lay back. "I would never leave you, Charlotte."

Kendall's face was a mask of pain and fear. "Oh no..."

"What?" asked Carly and Max in unison.

"My water just broke."

XXXXXXXXXXX

The lights at ELQ went out as the whole town was plunged into a black out. Ryan Lavery was on his feet in a second, out of his office, and running for his car. He had to buy one because he couldn't drive Kendall around on the back of his bike when she was pregnant.

He knew Kendall was a strong woman, tougher than even he was, but he didn't want her to be in the dark, nearly full-term pregnant, alone and scared. He only prayed Carly kept her word and hadn't left Kendall's side.

When he got to his car, it was covered in snow and he started to dig it out. A wave of foreboding shivered through his body, telling him to hurry because Kendall needed him now.

_I'm coming, love, hold on. _


	10. Rush, Rush, Baby

**Chapter Ten- Rush, Rush, Baby**

**December 18, 2002**

They sat in the SUV, which was presently stuck in a snow filled ditch.

Brenda said, "Well, isn't this a fine mess you've got us in, Jase."

"I got us in? You do notice the blizzard, right?"

Brenda replied, "Well_, I _wouldn't have driven into a ditch."

"You wouldn't have even made it out of the parking lot."

She challenged, "Oh, we are _so_ going to have a race one day and then we'll see who is the better driver!"

"Hey," Johnny said cutting off their bickering. "We're not getting out of here without a tow truck and we aren't going to get one of those till the roads are clear. So lets just call someone for a ride."

"If anyone can even make it to us..." Brenda grumbled.

They all tried their cell phones but had no signal.

Brenda said, "You're walking for help, Morgan."

"Well, we can't send you in those heels. In December, with three feet of snow on the ground, you go out in those things."

"There wasn't snow when I put them on this morning! And besides fashion comes first. Not everyone can get away with wearing a gray t-shirt everyday and still look good. You screwed up the driving, you're walking for help."

"I didn't screw up..." Jason found that he argued with Brenda more than any other woman on earth. He figured it was because she remembered him from high school and knew all the ways to annoy both Jason Morgan and Quatermaine. He kept telling himself to stop letting her bait him into this ridiculous conversations but, in truth, he found her funny and thought of her as family.

Johnny let out a long breath. "I'll go."

Just then there was a knock on the driver's side window. Jason and Johnny pulled out their guns, holding them close to their thighs where they wouldn't immediately be seen but could be used at a moments notice.

Jason rolled down the window and the peered past the blinding snow to see Ryan standing there. "I thought that was your car. I'm trying to hurry back to the apartment to check on Kendall during this blackout. I can't get her on the phone. I may be acting like a overprotective father- to-be, but I'm worried about her, man."

XXXXXXXX

(..._cradle your head in your hands,  
And breathe... just breathe,  
Oh breathe, just breathe_

'There's a light at each end of this tunnel,' you shout. 

_Cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out  
and these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again.  
If you only try turning around_...) _( Anna Nalick_) 

The apartment was lit with twenty candles of various shapes and sizes.

Carly helped Kendall slide out of her pants and covered her with a blanket while Max went to knock on the door of Dr. Jack Larson, who also lived in the building. Carly was pretty sure he was a plastic surgeon but he would do in a pinch.

"I...can't... have a... baby here," Kendall said, through ragged breaths.

"Well, good. Cause I can't deliver a baby," Carly told her. "What do you think about just holding him in?"

Kendall snarked at her, "Sure. I'll cross my ankles. That works right?"

"I wasn't even awake when I gave birth to Michael. I have no idea what is about to go down...and the things I imagine are all stuff I do not want to see."

"I watched this movie..."

"You didn't? Everyone knows not to watch that horror flick they try to show you at Lamaze class."

"There was so much blood..."

"Oh God, don't say that! Are you trying to make me pass out?"

"Carly..." she whimpered. Kendall paused as another contraction hit her. She grabbed Carly's hand and squeezed. "You have to ...promise me...if something happens to me..."

"No, stop. That's bad luck and we can't afford any of that tonight."

"Please...tell my baby...about me...you know me best and our past... but leave out the crazy parts..."

"It was all crazy parts, you know that."

Kendall gave her a shaky small, "Then dress it up! OW! Damn... I feel some pressure..."

"Oh...fine...I'll look. But I swear, Charlotte, you owe me!" These days she only called her Charlotte as a term of endearment. "And don't think I won't collect...I don't feel sorry for you cause you're pregnant and stranded and...oh my god, there is his head... MAX! Get me that doctor now!"

A minute later, as if he had heard her, the bodyguard rushed into the room. "The doc wasn't home. It looks like we are on our own."

He averted his eyes from Kendall and started to pray that someone, anyone, would come and deal with this situation because delivering babies was way out of the bounds of his job description. 

XXXXXXXX

Brenda, Jason, and Johnny squeezed into Ryan's little two door coupe.

Ryan drove slowly down the ice covered roads, but the car still slid all over the place.

It fishtailed and hit a parked car two blocks from the apartment building, blowing out one of the tires.

"Everyone all right?" Ryan asked

As soon as they all nodded, he jumped from the car and starting running toward home.

Jason, Johnny and Brenda made their way there slower. Johnny carried Brenda on his back, since her footwear would have led to instant frost bite had she stuck even a toe into the snow.

XXXXX

"I wasn't ever supposed to be a mom," Kendall cried in misery. "God knows that. Remember?"

Carly let out a shaky breath, not wanting to go there.

"He took my first baby cause he knew that and now He wants this one, too. Do you remember, Caroline, when He took my baby? Do you?"

Kendall voice was full of panic.

She asked again "Do you?!"

"I remember."

_She was just fifteen and, though most of the preppy girls in school called her a slut, Charlotte had only slept with one guy at that point. Some dark haired twenty year old who looked like a billboard model but ran with the wrong crowd. He was well on his way to being a gangster. She loved him._

_Till the day she found out she was knocked up and then she hated him. He forgot her name, her number and that they had ever slept together the moment after she told him the news._

_Only one other person ever knew she was pregnant. Caroline was there when she took the pregnancy test, both of them crammed in a postage stamp sized bathroom of her trailer. _

"_What does it say?" Charlotte asked, looking right in Caroline's eyes and not at the test she held._

_She saw the answer there before her friend said a word._

_Charlotte spit out, "Shit."_

"_It'll be okay. I promise."_

"_Sell those lies somewhere else. I'm completely screwed. 15 and pregnant. Can you say trailer trash?"_

"_Then we will be the best damn trailer trash teenage mama's this town ever seen. You and me, together, like we do everything. We'll steal formula and con some sucker into moving us into his condo on the beach...it will be kick ass, just wait and see."_

_Charlotte smiled, feeling slightly less panicked. "You're crazy."_

"_At least, I'm not knocked up."_

_Caroline was with her in the girls bathroom at school when the bleeding started and her baby slipped away._

_Charlotte knew it was her punishment from God for all the lies, cons, the shop lifting, the joyriding. But that didn't make her change. She had already paid the highest consequence possible and there was nothing worse God or anyone else could do to her._

_Charlotte became a thousand times more destructive in her behavior, and she, also, grew to be convinced that God meant for her to never have a child._

**Carly could see that the baby was minutes **away from being born. "I need you to do the breathing you learned. Come on, you remember how...Kendall, you have to calm down and get ready to push...

Kendall started to sob. "I don't want to do this here. Make it stop, Carly. Help me. Please. Ohh...how could I mess this up too? I'm letting down my baby already! Don't let my son die...I'm begging you.."

"Your son is going to be fine. I love you and this baby. I'm going to do what I can to get him in the word safely. Now, act like the tough bitch I know you are, dry those tears, and push."

"I can't do this..."

"You're doing it! I see your son. Push! Push!"

(_You can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,  
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table._

_  
No one can find the rewind button now.Sing it if you understand  
and breathe, just breathe._

_  
Whoa breathe, just breathe,  
Oh breathe, just breathe,  
Oh breathe, just breathe_.) ( Anna Nalick) 

**Note- a new story has been added to the Jarly C2. Lover After Me was written by Ashton Jacks in 2000. It's a tragic but beautiful one shot.**


	11. Hold On Now

**Note- Sorry for the long wait between updates.**

**Chapter Eleven Hold On Now**

**December 18, 2002**

Carly told Kendall, as the dark haired woman panted and tried to push out her child, "All right, I am gonna deliver this baby for you, since it seems you are leaving me very little choice...but you have to make me a promise. Nothing in this world is free, we both know that."

"Greedy...bitch..." Kendall hissed at her "AHHHHH!"

"Okay, he's right here...he's coming...are you gonna agree to my terms?"

"What...the ...hell...AHHH! Max, friggin do SOMETHING to help."

He eased one inch closer, "Okay...Miss Hart, sure, ...like what, ma'am? I could boil water or get towels or maybe I should just walk to the hospital and drag back a doctor..."

"JUST SHUT UP! AHHHHH! No...I'm done...no more, Carly, I'm not doing this...I'll wait..."

Carly could barely think straight, as she prepared to catch the head that was starting to slide out, but she knew she had to keep Kendall's mind off of her fear. "I'll only do this for you... if you agree to hold my hand when I give birth next summer...you can hold one and Jason can have the other...deal?"

"Ahhhhhh! Since...when...are ...you...ahhhh!"

"I just found out. Now...deal or not?"

"Deal! Fine! Whatever! Get this baby out of me! Ahhhh!"

"Then push...he's coming...he's ...oh wow...Charlotte..." the little boy's body slipped into her grasp. Her eyes widened at the sight of him, and then she jumped into action, yelling at Max to get over there and help her.

They worked quickly to clear the child's airway and clean him off, as all three of them waited for his first cry...

Kendall fell backwards onto the cushions of the couch, but her eyes stayed on her newborn. "Is he...Carly...is my son okay?"

Ryan skidded through the door, yelling Kendall's name. He stopped dead in his tracks at the scene before him. Then he was hurrying closer and seeing his son for the first time. He saw the coloring of the baby and his heart twisted.

"Ryan...thank God you're here..." Kendall cried "How's the baby...he's beautiful right?"

Ryan ran for scissors, as Carly's mouth moved to try and breath life into the infant. Ryan cut the cord and then they moved the baby onto the coffee table, laying his small body on a blanket. Ryan leaned down and breathed into the baby's mouth and nose.

Kendall cried out in anguish. "Come on, my baby...come on, come on, come on son...breath..."

Carly reached out and grabbed her hand. She prayed _God, save this child...save my nephew...save him...make him breath...she needs him...don't take this baby_...

Ryan lifted his mouth away and then leaned close to his son. The baby let out a wail. Ryan lifted him up and cuddled him close to his body. He brought him over to Kendall.

Soon Jason, Brenda and Johnny were coming in the door. Carly stood on shaky legs. Jason came over and with one look he saw how she was barely holding it together- he saw all her love, joy, fear, pain and worry.

"Jase..." she whispered

He pulled her into his arms and, as usual, Carly began to feel that everything would work out just fine.

XXXXXXXXX

Max and Johnny went walking to the nearest fire department, it was five blocks away. Paramedics were there, and after commandeering a snow plow they made their way back to the apartment building. It took longer for an ambulance to get there but the paramedics were able to give Kendall and the baby some care in the interim.

"I love you," Ryan whispered as he kissed her sweaty forehead "You did great, babe."

"He's really okay?"

"Listen to those cries. Loud and healthy. He's perfect," Ryan promised her, though he couldn't really know for sure.

"I was so scared..." she whimpered. Then her eyes moved across the room to Carly. Jason stood behind her, with his arms wrapped around her waist. She leaned back to rest against him. Kendall said to her, "Thank you, Carly...if you weren't here with me..."

"Where else would I be?" Carly asked with a smile.

They stared at each other for a moment, thinking about the past and present, about these men who were next to them that they loved, and about their children who they never expected to have but couldn't live without now. They thought about how easy it was to fight with and for each other, to love each other, to always rely on each other when they were teens and now.

Crazy . Damaged. Lying wench. Cold hearted bitch. The world called them all that and more. And they were, at times, to everyone and to each other. But it didn't matter what sins they committed. All that mattered was they knew who they loved in this world, they knew who they were to each other.

(_I don't like you, but I love you_

_Seems I'm always, thinking of you_

_  
Oh, oh, oh, you treat me badly  
I love you madly_

_  
You really got a hold on  
You really got a hold on  
You really got a hold on  
You really got a hold on me_) ( Beatles)

XXXXXX

After Kendall was taken to the hospital, Jason had to argue with Carly to make her stop trying to force Max to drive her there. It was decided they would wait till morning so the roads could get plowed.

Carly was taking a bath later, when Jason walked in and crouched by the tub. "I'm really proud of you..."

Her smile lit up her whole face. She got teary at his admission. "I don't think you ever said that to me before..."

"No? Well, I'm always proud of you...you know that, right? You raise our son everyday and you give him everything he needs..."

"You help me, Jase. Sometimes I think you are the one thing Michael needs most. I see a difference in him when he is with you...you make him feel secure...just like you do me."

She took his hand and pulled it underneath the water. Lazily, his hand brushed over her skin. She pressed it onto her stomach. "You up for doing it all over again? Being the best thing in

our new baby's life...what do you say?"

Carly's heart squeezed as she saw his blue eyes fill with unshed tears. He smiled. "I say I want you to be my wife before our kid gets here."

Then he was lifting her out of the tub, with water splashing everywhere. Carly bit her lip, trying not to cry but by the time he laid her on the bed she was sobbing, huge happy tears fell all over her cheeks. He leaned down and kissed her stomach and then pulled her into his arms.

"Jase...Jase, man, this is...everything I ever wanted...don't let this ever end, okay?"

He murmured, "I'm not going anywhere, not without you and our kids. You know I'm

no good without you...never have been."

Her wet body pressed closer to his, her arms wrapped around his neck, and then his lips were sliding over hers, making her moan with pleasure and need.

Jason knew what she craved, every single thing and just how to take her ache away. He did it every night, and never- not yet and he figured this was one thing he could count on to not change- did it fail to thrill him to give it to her.

It was in the eyes, he decided. The way Carly looked at him- that sweet devotion, that hot hunger- that made him a sucker for her, that made him never able to get enough of these kisses, of her hands on him, of sinking into her body and feeling like he was complete.

She was the only woman he ever met he made him feel like this. She was all he knew about the word love. To him, love was Carly and for her, to his utter joy, love seemed to equal him and their children.

"You're amazing," he breathed out, his mouth next to her ear as they moved together.

"You better believe it, Jase." Carly dug her nails into him and the way her eyes changed told him to move his hand to stroke her and take her right over the edge. "This is...amazing...oh...we're amazing..."

(_I just can quit now  
You really got a hold on  
You really got a hold on  
You really got a hold on  
You really got a hold on me_

_  
Baby, I love you, and all I want, you to do  
is just, hold me, please_

_  
Hold me, squeeze me  
Hold me, hold me_

_  
You really got a hold on  
You really got a hold on  
You really got a hold on  
You really got a hold on me_.) (The Beatles) 


	12. Everything Ends Sometimes

**Thanks for reviewing. The story is about to take some more twists and turns now. Hang on, It will get bumpy.**

**Chapter Twelve Everything Ends Sometimes**

**The next morning**

**December 19, 2002**

Carly and Jason were outside of Kendall's room at the hospital when they spotted a petite brunette come barreling off the elevator with fire in her eyes.

Carly hissed at Jason, with all the awe of a true fan, "That's Erica Kane!"

Jason gave her a very unimpressed look. She slapped his arm.

Erica was harassing Amy Vining, who was all but drooling on the woman. "Autograph? Well I am flattered, of course. Are you the head nurse? I really must speak to her right now about my daughter and my grandson. Or the chief of staff. Actually, I think it would be better if you page Alan Quatermaine immediately because I want answers and I want them now. The Quatermaine's, well Lila really, and I go way back. She's been a loyal Enchantment user from the day the perfume hit to shelves. As, of course, I am sure you would expect."

Erica paused, stared the gaped mouth nurse down, and asked "Why aren't you paging him yet? Give me the phone. I'll do it myself."

Amy asked "Is it true you married a Count? I read that .But you know they write so much about you that it's hard to know what is true or not. I can't believe I am talking to the infamous Erica..."

"There' nothing infamous about her. She is straight up famous." Carly corrected "You're a legend, Ms. Kane. I've had to double my efforts at Deception just to keep up with your latest product line but I welcome the challenge. Of course, we're outselling you 2 to 1 right now but it's probably because we're new."

"Unless you are Alan Quatermaine in drag, step aside." Erica said "I need to find my daughter."

"Then you will have to deal with me. I'm Carly Spencer. Though you might know me better as Caroline Benson."

"Oh...well, yes, I have heard _things_." The way she said the last word told Carly and Jason she knew the whole story of them: from Jason being a hitman, to Carly being accused of stealing Michael from AJ, to the million crimes and sins they had committed in their pasts. "Kendall speaks highly of you. Though, her staying here away from her true family all these months has worried me and now I see how very right I was...she goes and has her baby on the floor like a dog...it breaks my heart how beneath a Kane woman that is..."

Just then the elevator doors opened and a blond man came hurrying off.

Carly mumbled "She was on the couch, actually."

But she was drowned out by Jackson Montgomery, Erica's best friend and former lover, calling to her "You could have waited for me to park the car and not jumped out at the curb. How is she? Have you seen her? I told you she's fine. She is, isn't she?"

"Well," Erica said primly "I can't say that I know because everyone in this hospital is working overtime to keep me from her. It seems they are all such big _fans_ of mine," she rolled her eyes.

Jackson, who was much more polite than Erica ever could dream of being, straightened his shoulders, extended his hand and introduced himself to Jason and Carly. Then he asked Amy if they could visit Kendall.

Amy smiled at him, winked, and said "Of course, right this way."

Erica glared at her with a look that said _I got your number, missy_. Then the mini-mogul and star in her own mind flipped her hair over her shoulder and , in a huff, followed behind the nurse, Jackson, Carly and Jason as they headed for her daughter's room.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kendall was shocked to see her birth mom breeze through her hospital door. Less than a year ago Kendall was working on a tell all book about her that was meant to embarrass, shame, humiliate and bring public ridicule upon La Kane. She even went as far as to testify for the State at her mother's murder trial and try to help send her to the chair.

Right before Kendall left Pine Valley to search for Ryan the two woman agreed to put the past behind them and try to be close. Ryan called Erica last night to tell her about the baby, but Kendall hadn't expected her to hop in her private jet and come here.

Ryan was sitting next to her bed, and she was holding their son, when Erica said "Oh my...a boy, you have a son...I have a grandchild..."

"You plan on claiming him?" Kendall asked, raising an eyebrow.

Jackson answered for her, "We are both thrilled to have a new addition to the family."

It amazed Kendall how loyal this man was to Erica. He stood by her side through natural disasters and ones of her making, through all the lies and betrayals, through criminal trials and custody battles. He wasn't her husband but he also wasn't ever leaving her. Kendall would do anything to have had a father like him.

She gave Jackson a shaky smile. "Would you like to hold him?"

"I'd love to," Jackson said. He came over and took the baby from her arms.

Erica said "I came all this way because, despite what you seem to still think, I do care about you and your child. In fact, I want to take you all home with me tomorrow as soon as you are cleared to travel. It's time to get you back home and out of this den of vipers and gangsters. Because that is who runs this town...if you haven't noticed yet. It's actually not safe to stay her a moment longer than necessary."

"Listen, mama La Kane, " Carly said, wagging her finger "Kendall's safe here as long as I got her back. And do you _actually_ think I would let something happen to my nephew? I don't think so. This town is run by people like me. I know how it works and, believe me, it is nothing like that backwater burg you come from."

"Nephew?" Erica shrieked "You are not and have not ever been a part of my daughter's family. I know there was probably in-breeding at that little trailer park you hail from but believe me I know Kendall's DNA never mixed with the likes of yours."

"Let me remind you, that trailer park you're looking down on is where you sent your own baby when you weren't in the mood to raise her!" Carly shot back.

"Caroline," Kendall said at the same time as Jason moved to Carly's side to give her a look.

Jackson leaned down and whispered to Erica "We didn't come here for this."

Ryan said, "Lets leave the past in the past. This little guy wasn't born to set off a family feud."

Erica glared at Carly, then looked at Kendall. "You have to see my point. Ancient friendship aside, you don't belong here and either does little...I can't believe I don't even know what you have named my grandchild."

"We let Carly name him since she is the one who delivered him," Kendal said.

Erica sighed in frustration. Carly grinned at her.

"Don't tell me," Erica said "you chose Bubba, right? The tabloids will have a field day with this."

"His name is," Carly said "Jonathan Ryan Lavery. I've always loved the name Johnny. I have a good friend named that actually, and I know it's Ryan's brother name, too, so it made sense."

"Surprisingly, you made a good choice." Erica said then took the baby from Jack. "Hello John, you're so handsome, yes you are. You're going to be the first Kane of a whole new generation and that means you carry a great legacy on your back. But you're strong enough to handle it. I can tell already."

Ryan came over and took the baby back. He rocked his son and smiled at him.

Carly said "Jase and I should go. You okay?"

Kendall nodded. Carly walked over and bent down to kiss her cheek. She whispered, "Call me if she even tries to mess with you. I'll come right back."

Kendall smiled at her as they left. As soon as they were gone, Erica said "Your old friend is...unique and I am sure you enjoyed catching up with her but please tell me that you are coming home with Jackson and me. I can't leave you in this town that God has forgotten for one more day. Do you know how many murders were committed here last year? The newspaper is filled with stories of that man who just left here..._Jase _is Jason Morgan. He's an enforcer for the Corinthos family! You just need to run from this place and never look back or else I am afraid you or Ryan or this baby will be the next victim in some mob war..."

"Stop, Erica, please. Take a breath. We're coming home, okay?" Kendall asked.

"Thank the Lord," Erica said

XXXXXXXXX

That night, after Erica went to her hotel suite with Jackson, Carly stopped by to visit Kendall again. She told Jason to drag Ryan off to Jake's for a few hours so she could be alone with her friend.

Carly sat next to Kendall on her hospital bed. "You're leaving tomorrow, aren't you?"

"Yes."

Carly nodded.

Kendall said, "We can keep in touch."

"That's something people write in the back of a yearbook and then it never happens." Carly tried but failed to keep the anguish out of her voice, but it was right there in her eyes anyway, so Kendall would have saw it no matter what.

(_When the day is long and the night, _

_the night is yours alone, _

_  
when you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on._

Don't let yourself go, everybody cries  
and everybody hurts 

_sometimes_.) ( REM)

Gently, Kendall said, "You knew I couldn't stay here forever."

"You could, if you wanted to." Carly looked away, unable to stand the way she felt right now.

All she wanted was to keep her friend here, so they could raise their boys together, plan their weddings together, live whole long lives side by side, like it should have always been.

Kendall said, "If I don't go back to Pine Valley I will never make things right with Erica and Bianca, and as much as I wish I didn't care about that, I do."

Carly sighed, "Sorry...I suck at doing this...saying good-bye to you. I've never done it yet in my life. Tell me how...cause it was easy for you to do back in Florida, right?"

"That was the most destructive choice of my life, and you know it. But I had to do it. I had to kill Charlotte. I was on the verge of slitting my wrists. That's how bad I hated what I was back then. It wasn't about not loving you, it was about not loving me. This time is completely different. You can visit any time you want. You have to get to know your nephew and he needs to know you, Jason, and Michael. I'm not trying to break up our family...you have to believe me."

Carly started to cry. "I know...it's just that you are the only sister I have...I don't want to lose you twice in one lifetime...I was just getting used to having your back-from- the -dead butt here again..."

Kendall smiled. "I'll only be a phone call away...I promise...I won't disappear and change my name or ever go anywhere you can't find me again. I wouldn't do that to you. I'm grateful you let me back in your life and that's where I want to stay...in your life...as your sister...okay?"

Carly hugged her, and as soon as she managed to stop crying Kendall started to.

"Hormones," Kendall said

"Sure. Whatever you say," Carly said back.

Carly hugged her tight, hating that she would soon have to let her go soon, and start to live everyday with her old friend Charlotte around again.

There was a fear deep inside of Carly that said if Kendall left Port Charles they would never see each other again, and just the thought of that, left her gasping for breath.

(_Well, everybody hurts sometimes, everybody cries.  
And everybody hurts sometimes.  
And everybody hurts sometimes._

_  
So, hold on, hold on.  
Hold on, hold on.  
Hold on, hold on.  
Hold on, hold on._

Everybody hurts. You are not alone.) ( REM)


	13. Found Out About You

**Thanks for reading and reviewing. This story is far from done. I am thinking it might have around 25 chapters.**

**Chapter Thirteen- Found Out About You**

**December 19, 2002**

Sitting at the bar at Jake's was Jason, Johnny, Max and Ryan.

They had already shot some pool with Jason winning 500 bucks after beating each of the other guys.

"Another round," Johnny told the bartender "Morgan's buying."

"Oh yeah?" Jason asked

"Yeah," Johnny said. "Pool shark."

Ryan joked, "So he does this all the time? I can't believe you hustled me. I thought we were all friends here."

"I risk my life for the dude and he took me for 200," Max grumbled

"Don't call me dude," Jason ordered.

All three guys called him dude in unison, then they all threw back a shot.

"Another round." Jason said

After they got the drinks, Jason added "Raise them. To the new father. You better sleep tonight, Lavery, cause you won't be the next couple of years. And , just so you know, real men do the 2 am feedings."

"Aw, you should have that put on a t-shirt," Ryan joked

"You better do a good job at this father thing, Lavery," Max, who was a little drunk at this point said "Or Mrs. C will send me down there to kick your ass and I will have to do it. Nothing personal, you understand."

"I'll do my best, Giambetti."

"You better," Jason and Johnny said together

"Now you two sound like Carly," Ryan said with a smile.

"You're cut off," Jason said, grabbing his drink out of his hand "Cause you must be wasted to say that to me."

Johnny and Max laughed. Jason glared at all of them but then smiled.

XXXXXXXXXX

Carly went to get a cup of coffee and when she came back Kendall was asleep. She fixed the covers over her, kissed her forehead and left, unaware that Kendall was dreaming about their crazy days in Florida at that very moment...

(All last summer, in case you don't recall,  
I was yours and you were mine.

Forget it all.

Is there a line that I could write  
sad enough to make you cry?

All the lines you wrote to me were lies.

The months roll past

the love that you struck dead.

Did you love me only in my head?) ( Gin Blossoms)

_Charlotte was crushed beneath the weight of a two hundred pound college football linebacker, as he grunted into her ear. The college party raged just outside the door. _

_She had known this guy three months, but she wasn't supposed to be here with him like this. That was unspoken, that was the rules, that was the one thing that always went unsaid between her and Caroline but, all the same, here Charlotte was._

_It wasn't because she liked Troy. She hated him actually. All the muscles, the privileged attitude, the way he treated Caroline like a trophy. But her best friend liked him. He was a star on campus, in the newspaper, and even nationwide on sports TV. _

_Caroline got off on being the one he picked when he could have had anyone. At just seventeen, Caroline could already make any man she wanted open his wallet on command, and lose his heart without ever knowing it had been stolen._

_Charlotte waited for the door to open, praying it would be soon, and when it did she pushed Troy off her._

"_I hate you so much!" Caroline yelled, her eyes burning with rage and locked on Charlotte's._

_And then her friend was gone, and it was done._

_Troy grumbled. "Damn...oh, well, she'll deal. Come here.."_

"_Don't friggin touch me ever again."_

_Charlotte crawled from the bed, yanked on her clothes-ignoring the whiny jock the whole time- looked at her watch and thought _Just about time.

_Tonight she would leave Florida and all she despised about herself behind, and the only cost would be breaking the heart of the only person on earth who gave a damn about her._

_But at least this way Caroline would lose from her life someone she hated, instead of someone she loved. It might make getting over her 'death' easier, in the end._

_Charlotte sucked in a deep breath and left the room, knowing it was too late to turn back now._

XXXXXXXXXXXX

**December 19, 2002**

Carly went home to her apartment. It was silent and empty. Jason was still out with the guys. Michael was at Bobbie's. She lay on the couch to watch the late show and wait for Jason. But soon she drifted off into an old familiar dream...

(Things you said and did to me  
seemed to come so easily

The love I thought I'd won,

you give for free.

Whispers at the bus stop  
I heard about nights out in the school yard.

I found out about you.)

_Caroline was fuming, as she paced the sidewalk in front of the frat house. Her tears were dried now. They had lasted only a few minutes and when they stopped she felt completely dead inside._

_Troy was supposed to be different. He wasn't a con or a hustle. Sure, they weren't in love but they were sleeping together; she was his girl, everyone knew that. Charlotte knew that. _

_It wasn't the fact they had sex that shattered Caroline's soul that night, it was the betrayal. Her sister disregarded her feelings, and in doing so killed their bond. Why would she do that to them?_

_People called Charlotte a lying no good whore. Hell, they called Caroline the same thing. But before that moment Caroline had never believed it was true._

_She watched Charlotte run from the frat._

"_Hey, bitch! Wait. We have some stuff to settle," Caroline yelled but Charlotte didn't even glance her way._

_She jumped in her car and took off._

_An hour later, Caroline was getting a ride home by some guy she barely knew when they drove past the accident. Charlotte's car was slammed into a tree and on fire. Police and ambulances blocked the road._

_Caroline stumbled from the car, on shaky legs that she was surprised even supported her weight in that moment, and ran into the crowd. She screamed her best friend's name. A cop grabbed her. She pushed him off, then fell to her knees._

"_Charlotte..." she whimpered over and over till some stranger picked her up and took her to the waiting ambulance. _

_The body in the car was burned beyond recognition. _

(Rumors follow everywhere you go.  
Like when you left and I was last to know...

You know it's all I think about  
I write your name, drive past your house...

Whispers at the bus stop  
I heard about nights out in the school yard

I found out about you) _( Lines from Gin Blossoms song_)

XXXXXXX

**December 19, 2002**

Kendall woke up in the middle of the night at the hospital. Ryan was laying in the bed with her.

She smiled and kissed his jaw. He woke up.

"It...didn't feel right to...not be with my family tonight," he said to her. "Sorry if I am crowding you, babe."

"I'd never complain about getting to share a bed with you." She stoked his cheek. "Right now...life is perfect...it feels unreal. Have you ever had a perfect day before? I don't think I have until today. Our baby is healthy, we're together, we have good friends, even Erica doesn't seem to hate me quite as much anymore. This is as good as it gets, Ryan."

"Nah, it can get better." He kissed her, letting his lips softly brush against hers. "Believe me, it can."

She wanted to believe...but everything she ever learned in Florida told her not to.

XXXXXXXX

The man stepped off his yatch and regarded the city of Port Charles, New York. Such a dreary place, cold and desolate at this time of year, filled with people living small little lives that they thought meant something.

These people here had overstepped their bounds and, in doing so, brought upon their own ultimate destruction. They just didn't know it yet.


	14. You Still Have All of Me

**Chapter Fourteen- You Still Have All of Me**

**The Next Day**

**December 21, 2002**

The mood was somber. They all stood next to the limo, the baby was already inside strapped into his seat.

Erica and Jackson were taking a cab from their hotel to the airport, that left Kendall and Ryan to ride with their child in the limo Carly usually traveled in.

"I can come to the airport..." Carly said for the third time.

"You and Erica going another round? No thanks," Kendall said with a small smile.

Ryan shook Jason's hand. "Thanks for everything, man."

"Sure. No problem."

Carly did her best not to cry. "So you will be back by summer, right? I'm due in July."

"I'll be here," Kendall promised. She reached out and hugged her, whispering "I love you, sis."

Carly pulled away and swiped at her tears. She ordered Ryan, "Take good care of them! You better!"

"I plan to spend every second of my life doing just that," he told her. Then he nodded at Jason and climbed into the limo.

Kendall and Carly were holding hands. Kendall told her "No good-byes ever again. So see you later, Caroline."

"See you...soon, Charlotte," Carly choked out. She buried her face in Jason's chest, his arm came up to hold her waist, but her hand only clutched Kendall's harder.

Kendall sat down in the limo and, after a moment, Carly let go of her hand. The door closed and the limo rolled away.

(_Your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone_

These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase) ( Evanescence) 

"Jase!" Carly cried

"It's okay. Listen to me, you will see her again. Ryan already told me he wants to buy a beach house in Florida," Jason said "If he can't afford it then I will. We can all vacation together every summer...we're a family...I won't let that end...I swear to you."

She titled her teary face up and he kissed her. She didn't believe in happy endings- not for people like her and Kendall- but she did believe in Jason Morgan and that his word was good.

(_When you cried,_

_I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_  
When you'd scream,_

_I'd fight away all of your fears_

_  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me_) ( evanescence) 

XXXXXXX

**10 minutes later**

**Max was driving the limo **through a tunnel when a black SUV skidded to a quick stop in front of him then turned to block the road.

He glanced in the rearview mirror and saw another SUV was behind them. He pulled out his gun. Then hit the button to roll down the window that separated him from Ryan and Kendall.

"We have trouble," he said, looking back at the small family.

As soon as he turned back a bullet pierced the windshield and then went into his neck.

Kendall screamed at the sight of blood splattering on the seat. Her eyes were wild with terror. She jerked her gaze sideways to look at Ryan.

"Get down," he ordered as took John out of his baby seat and passed him to her.

No more bullets were flying for that minute, it was an eerie silence that surrounded them.

Ryan scrambled toward the driver's seat to get Max's gun but then the door was jerked open and a man with an automatic rifle was dragging Kendall from the car, she clutched her son in her arms.

Ryan got his hand around the gun but then another man was opening the door next to Max and pointing a gun at Ryan's head.

"Out," the masked man ordered.

When Ryan joined Kendall and their son outside of the limo one of the five men, this one was holding a .22 caliber gun, said "This is for Luis Alcazar."

Ryan held his arms up. "Wait, no, don't do this man. This woman and child have nothing to do with whatever this is about...let them go...you don't want to do this...don't... we can make a deal..."

"Here's your deal." Then the gun was fired and Ryan crumbled to the gun.

Kendall screamed.

The gun man walked closer to Ryan. Kendall yelled, "No, please, don't shoot him again!"

The man pulled out a camera, snapped a picture of Ryan, and then turned to Kendall and said "Luis Alcazar has been avenged. Say his name."

Kendal was in tears, shaking, her eyes stuck on the man she loved as he lay on the ground bleeding.

"Say it!" He spoke in a thick Spanish accent.

"Luis...Alcazar..." she said through tears.

The man nodded at his cohorts and they all piled back into their vehicles.

Kendall hurried to Ryan's side, begging him to live, but he never said a word back. His eyes were closed already.

"You can't leave us...stay, my love, stay... Ryan!"

She was sobbing as she raced back to the limo. She laid John down on the seat and reached into her purse for her phone. With shaking hands she dialed 911. She cried out her location and then "Hurry...please...he's dying...I know he is...you have to get here quick!"

A car pulled up.

Kendall jumped to her feet, ready to fight to the death to protect her child and boyfriend.

"Oh my God," Jax said when he climbed out of his car. "What happened? Are you okay?"

She simply shook her head back and forth slowly. Her eyes jerked back to Ryan.

No, she wasn't okay.

XXXXXXXXX

**There was only one way Jason **knew to ease some of Carly's pain. He took her to Jake's and up to their room. As tears streamed down her face, at the thought of Kendall being gone, he gently undressed her.

She was the one to kiss him, the one to pull him onto the bed, the one to beg him to hurry. She needed this now.

With soft kisses and swift motions he helped her to stop crying, to stop aching, and in time all her thoughts were on him, and then she was smiling again.

Later, when she was resting her head on his chest and lightly tracing her fingers over his abs, she said "You are so good for me, Jase...you are seriously the perfect man for me...only you truly get me. We are...don't you think this is a miracle?"

"Yeah, in a way. Since we haven't messed this thing up and it's been what? Two whole months now..." he chuckled.

She slapped his stomach. "Ha. Ha."

Then she softly added, " I know this time nothing can ruin our happiness. I won't let it."

Carly looked up and caught Jason's eye. He brought his hand up to cup her cheek. "There hasn't been a second I haven't been in love with you since...we had our son. And I'm not looking to change that ever. So, yeah, maybe you are my miracle."

"Maybe?" she joked as she scooted up to kiss him.

Their lips connected and it was all fire, as usual. Her chest skimmed over his. When Jason moved his hand to caress her, she moaned.

"Maybe?" Carly asked again, this time her voice was low and intimate. "No, definitely, Jase. Definitely."

Her phone rang.

She cried, "Ohhhh, not now, world. Go away. Do not stop. Jason...don't...oh, why did you stop?"

"It could be about our kid."

Carly grabbed the phone. She heard Kendall whimper "Caroline..."

"What? What happened? Hey... Charlotte, sweetie, please...talk to me."

All she could hear was sobbing.

Carly's eyes met Jason.

"He's...," Kendall choked out "he's...they shot Ryan."

XXXXXXXX

**Lorenzo sat in near darkness**, thinking about his brother that was lost to him forever now.

(_You used to captivate me  
by your resonating light._

_  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind._

_  
Your face it haunts  
my once pleasant dreams._

_  
Your voice it chased away  
all the sanity in me._)

The gunman walked into the warehouse. Lorenzo Alcazar asked "Well, was it a success?"

"See for yourself, boss." He passed him the Polaroid and Lorenzo looked at the picture.

"This isn't him!"

"What? He was in the limo, same height, leather jacket."

"Are you blind? This man looks nothing like Jason Morgan. Your incompetence is stunning."

The hitman's eyes widened. He was clearly in over his head, and if not for Lorenzo's grief he would have already known that very fact.

The man scrambled to make it right. "We can still get him. My crew and I will go right back out."

Lorenzo sighed. "He'll be on guard now. No..." he thought for a moment "just get to the hospital and if this man is not dead continue with the plan as if he was Morgan."

"But, boss,-"

"I said do it! He was in that limo. He means something to them. Not what Luis meant to be, I am sure. But this can be a preview for what is to come for that so-called family of theirs. I will make this town swim in a river of blood and only then will my brother rest in peace."

He watched the hired gun leave again, and then Lorenzo said "Your next Brenda."

(_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

_  
But though you're still with me  
_

_I've been alone_

_all along)_

**Note- **I struggled with this storyline twist but, in the end, decided I had to bring together the Luis/Brenda/Johnny plot line with the Rendall/ Jarly plot. The story gets gritty and ugly for a while but it is in the tone of what being in the mob world is and also in line with how Carly and Kendall behave in times of turmoil.


	15. Can't Cry Hard Enough

**Chapter Fifteen - Can't Cry Hard Enough**

**December 21, 2002**

As soon as Carly saw Kendall at General Hospital, standing there in a blood stained dress, she pulled her into a hug. For a moment, Kendall let her body collapse against her friends, and Carly was the only thing keeping her upright.

Erica and Jackson stood nearby. Erica was holding the baby and rocking him because he was fussing. She kept murmuring to him, "It will be all right," but her words sounded desperate to all their ears.

Kendall moved out of the embrace and said "They took him into surgery already. He has to make it...he has to...he will, won't he, Caroline?"

"Yes," Carly promised, her voice fierce with determination.

Kendall nodded. Then she moved her eyes to meet Jason's and they hardened slightly.

"I'll make this right," Jason promised Kendall.

Kendall told Jason "Luis Alcazar. Does that name mean something to you? Because he is the reason Ryan could be bleeding to death right now."

Jason nodded.

Kendall seemed to lose all her remaining strength in that moment. Jackson had to grab her to keep her from falling down. "Sit," he ordered "Come on, honey, just sit and wait. It's all we can do now."

"This town!" Erica cried "This evil, dirty hell hole full of mobsters and trash."

She turned to face Carly. "You call yourself her friend? Her sister? Well look what your love brought Kendall-nothing but disaster, just like I knew it would. If Ryan dies it is blood on your hands, Carly, and yours alone for shacking up with gangsters and putting at risk every person unfortunate to care about or trust you! You should be the one shot-"

"Don't say that!" Kendall cried, as if just saying the words would kill Carly instantly on the spot.

"Its the truth," Erica countered. "Why should Ryan pay for Carly sleeping with gangsters? No! It should be you," she glared at Carly. "You should be bleeding..."

"I think," Jason ground out at Erica "you have said more than enough already, don't you?"

Erica paled at the tone of his voice. She turned her back on all of them and started to pace the halls with the baby.

Just then the elevator opened and a teenage boy and a middle aged woman walked off.

"Jase," Carly whispered, her voice cracking and eyes immediately filling with tears.

"I'll speak to them," Jason said and headed over to give his condolences to Max's family.

_Let this day end, _Carly prayed, _It's too much for one day...Max is gone...he'll never smile at me again...all he wanted was to protect me...let this day end...I can't do this..._

But there would be no break coming anytime soon, not for any of the ones who were still alive.

(_I'm gonna live my life  
like every day's_

_the last _

_  
Without a simple goodbye,  
it all goes by so fast _) ( Williams Brothers)

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Hours later, Ryan was in the recovering **room when a man dressed in scrubs and a masked stepped into the room. He stuck a needled into the IV bag and added a drug.

After he had slipped from the room, alarms started to go off and Ryan flatlined.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Carly was holding Kendall's hand** when Alan Quatermaine walked into the waiting room. Seeing his face, Kendall froze. Carly squeezed her hand tighter.

"We did all we could," Alan said "I'm sorry but it wasn't enough. He's gone." 

The sound that escaped Kendall's lungs was both heart wrenching and feral. She collapsed to the ground. Carly bent down and wrapped her arms around her, thankful that Erica and Jackson had stepped out of the room to call home, and taken John with them.

Kendall's sobs were coming from deep within her body, from her very soul, and all Carly could do was hold on to her while she broke apart right there on the cold, sterile floor.

(_And now that you're gone  
I can't cry hard enough _

_  
No I can't cry hard enough _

_for you to hear me now _)

Alan left and for a long time the only sound were bitter, heart broken tears echoing off the walls and then Kendall said the words Carly knew were coming but still ripped her in two "This is all your fault."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Brenda and Johnny walked **hand-in- hand down the snow covered street in London. They had arrived there only hours before intending to spend the holidays to visiting Julia Barret.

They had left the night before after he came home from Jake's.

The last two months they had slowly moved from friends to lovers. He hadn't wanted to rush her and when they did come together for the first time it proved to be well worth the wait.

The emotional bond between them made everything that much more intense and erotic.

Johnny found it hard to imagine them ever breaking up. He kept glancing in jewelry store windows at the engagement rings, and then telling himself there was no reason to hurry.

Brenda stopped and pointed up. Some mistletoe was hanging from a light post.

Johnny smiled at her as his head dropped to bring his lips to hers, right before their mouth connected his cell phone rang. He gave her a quick kiss and answered it.

When he hung up he looked at her and said "We have to go home."

"What happened? Is it Jason?"

"No."

Anxious to know what had filled his eyes with pain, she begged, "Tell me."

He took both her hands in his. "Both Max and Ryan were murdered today and it looks like retaliation from the Alcazar family."

"Oh...no." Brenda let out a shaky breath. "Let's go. Jason is gonna need you."

"He's gonna need us." They started to run toward the hotel, which was two blocks away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Kendall pushed Carly off her **and then stumbled to her feet. "This happened because you're in love with a mobster. If Jason had any other job we would all be safe. How can you keep your child around this? It could have been your son or mine shot today. Who will be the next one of us...laying in a bed...without a...heart beat..._oh my God_...he's gone...Ryan is gone ...I lost him, Caroline..."

She started to sob again.

"I'm so sorry, so sorry this happened, Charlotte. I'd do anything to make it all different."

"But you can't! You can't. I don't want apologizes. I want the father of my child back. Get him back for me, Caroline, please...you said you would do anything for me, do that...I need him."

"I know. I know you do."

"This isn't fair! Ryan isn't a criminal. Why should he die and Jason live? Why should you get your wedding and fifty more years with the man you love and I can't...it's all gone...just like that...he's gone...he's not coming home with me today, is he?"

"No."

Kendall covered her face and cried, her whole body was shaking. After a minute she put her hands down and said "I have to see him."

She ran down the hall to his room but it was empty. She became so hysterical, screaming Ryan's name, that she had to be sedated.

Carly never left her side.

(_Gonna look back in vain and see you standing there  
but all that remains _

_is an empty chair _

_  
And now that you're gone  
I can't cry hard enough _

_  
No I can't cry hard enough  
For you to hear me now )_

XXXXXXXX

**Jason was the one who told Jackson** the Ryan was deceased and his body was already in the morgue.

Erica and Jackson sat and held each other, with the baby between them, and cried for a while. It was a few hours later when they went to arrange for the body to be sent to Pine Valley.

The hospital worker pulled a sheet off a dark haired man and said "Here he is."

"That isn't Ryan Lavery."

The man looked at the toe tag. "This says it is."

Erica snapped "Now look here, I just said this isn't him. It's not! Find him right now before I bring a lawsuit down on you the likes of which this pathetic little medical institution will never recover from."

"Let me check my paperwork. The only other man matching the same height and weight was already moved to the funeral home. Jacobson's on Fifth."

"Well, bring him back!" Erica ordered

"I'm only authorized to send them out, not retrieve them."

Jackson asked, as he moved his hand to Erica's back to try and steady her, "Can you give us a phone number to call?"

"Of course," the man said.

When they left he started to shake. This was the first time he accepted a bribe to look the other way, but 20, 000 dollars was way too much to turn down. All he had to do was give the patient one shot, make sure his heartbeat sped up from the undetectable levels it was at before, and then look the other way.

He wondered what had become of the man that was hurried out the back of the hospital into a waiting van but knew it was better to not ask, and forget he had ever saw anything at all.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**A DAY LATER**

**December 22, 2002**

When Ryan's eyes opened, he felt like his body was on fire.

The room he was in was empty of anything but a bed, he was handcuffed to it. He had no idea where he was but it sure wasn't a hospital.

(_I can't cry hard enough  
No I can't cry hard enough _

_  
For you to hear me now_)


	16. Out of Reach

**Chapter Sixteen Out of Reach**

**December 22, 2002**

Johnny and Brenda climbed off the private jet and ran over to the set of waiting vehicles. Brenda would go in the black town car with three guards to a safe house. Carly was scheduled to join her there after she packed some things for her and Michael.

Johnny kissed Brenda, with a soft gentleness that told her she was the most important person in his life and that he would do whatever it took to keep her safe, and to come home safely to her after this was over.

"Don't be a hero," Brenda told him. Though she knew it was pointless to ask. It was like breathing for him to save people, but now she needed him as much as her next breath, so she had to ask him not to go and get killed, not to leave her here mourning him like he did her for four long years.

She didn't know Kendall all that well. Carly didn't like to share and Brenda had enough trouble wrestling Jason away from her for more than an hour at a time, but Brenda could still feel Kendall's ache over losing Ryan. She knew what it would do to her if Johnny didn't come home.

He said, "I'll do what I have to. Don't think about it. Just stay inside and wait this out."

"You say that like's it easy." A moment later, looking right into his eyes, she admitted, " I need you."

Johnny said, "I won't get myself killed, I promise you that."

"I will hold you to that one," Brenda said as he opened her car door and she climbed inside.

He told the other guards. "You take good care of her."

He went and jumped into the passenger seat of the other car, which was being driven by Marco. Johnny wished he had brought that engagement ring for Brenda in London. It was right there, sparkling in the store window, and he knew she would have loved it.

He swore to himself he would go back and get that ring when this was all over, and then he would give Brenda the most lavish wedding this town had ever seen. The only thing he had to do was keep himself, and the rest of their family, alive long enough to see that day.

The Alcazars had stolen the last thing from them that they ever would. First four years from Brenda, and now a lifetime from Ryan, a father from John, a love from Kendall, a dream from Carly...Lorenzo was the last man standing in his family, and only when he was buried would they be safe once more.

Johnny planned to take extreme pleasure in making that happen- for his fallen friend Ryan and for all of them left behind.

XXXXXXXXX

**Carly opened her door** to see Kendall standing there with Officer Marcus Taggert. Kendall looked pale but not weak, instead her eyes were numb, her posture was stiff.

Taggert started "I'm giving Miss Hart an escort to the airport. I'll be right outside this door until she is through speaking to you, okay?"

"That's fine," Carly said to him and her guard Francis, before bringing Kendall inside the apartment.

"I had to come here," Kendall said, in a flat emotionless voice.

Kendall walked around the apartment, looking at the bookshelves that were full of photographs, instead of looking at Carly. There was Michael, smiling and carefree, as Jason lifted him high over his head in the park one day last fall. There was Johnny looking as relaxed as Kendall had ever seen him, sitting in black swim trunks on a beach. There was even a photo of Kendall and Carly in matching cheerleader outfits and one from now with Jason and Ryan squeezed into the shot with them- a family- just the past now. Gone forever like the days of high school and like their times in Florida.

Carly watched Kendall, unsure of what to say. She finally cleared her throat and said "I could come with you to Pine Valley...Jason can't..." _because he's hunting down Lorenzo Alcazar_, she thought but didn't say aloud. "...but me and Michael could ...just until..."

"No."

That was the answer she expected but it still stung.

Kendall turned and met her eyes. "I don't even have his body ...the funeral home says there was some mistake and Ryan...they gave me a box of ashes..."

Carly's hand shot up to cover her mouth. She wanted to scream about lawsuits and making whoever screwed up pay dearly for it but the sight of her friend standing there, not even having any tears left to cry, kept the words in her throat.

Kendall said "That's all he is now, Caroline, a box. So, no you can't come with me...not now...not ever..."

"Don't say that. You need me. I can bring guards to keep you and John safe. Listen, I know this is...horrible and impossible to comprehend and just wrong...Ryan should be here...and I know you hate me right now and blame me...but ...just let me be by your side..."

Kendall crossed the room to her and said, softly, "If it was just me...but I have your nephew, Ryan's son, to think about...I have to make sure John is never a target...that means no one can ever know that we knew each other...no one can connect me and you. I don't want anyone to ever remember I meant a thing to you because people who are important to you are all on a list...a hit list...a death list...my baby can't be a name on that list. I fooled myself, these last few months, pretending we could have it all. You know like I do...we don't get those kind of breaks. You chose this lifestyle, you chose Jason...but I won't."

Carly started to shake her head back and forth, trying to deny the truth. " Let me send guards with you."

"Erica will arrange protection."

"Okay...but I want to check out each of the guys she hires myself because you can't be too careful."

Kendall stared at her for a long moment and then said "You can't help me through this. You can't...be in my life ever again."

"Charlotte... you're my sister."

Kendall nodded. That much was true but it didn't change a thing.

"And you are mine. I love you, Caroline."

"I love you, too, Ch-"

"But I can never see you again. Don't call. Don't write. Don't come near Pine Valley. If you love your nephew...let him be safe."

With that said, Kendall walked around her and out of the apartment, leaving Carly with hot huge tears streaking down her face.

(_I'm alright, I'm alright  
It only hurts when I breathe_

_  
I'm alright, I'm alright  
It only hurts when I breathe, when I breathe_

_  
Yeah, it only hurts when I breathe, when I breathe  
Oh, it only hurts when I breathe) (Melissa Etheridge) _

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

**Kendall didn't cry for days**, she was simply numb, and nearly silent at most times.

Then a song came on the radio that reminded her of the vacation they were all supposed to take the next summer, and of how that would never happen now.

Ryan would never kiss her while they stood in the Atlantic Ocean. Carly wouldn't be holding her newborn on the shore. Michael wouldn't know his cousin John. Jason would never again promise all of them he could keep this family safe, together, happy,...

It was a old song that came on the radio that day- a song that on any other day would take her back to Charlotte and Caroline riding in a convertible down the highway in Florida, with their hair whipping in the air, and the college boy who owned the car in the backseat wondering what he had gotten himself into. But today the same song broke her heart.

Her body shook with sobs as she rocked her son in her arms. She sat in the kitchen of her mother's mansion, while the lyrics haunted her.

(_Nobody on the road,  
nobody on the beach._

_  
I feel it in the air,  
the summers out of reach.  
_  
_Empty lake, empty streets,  
the sun goes down alone._

_  
I'm driving by your house  
though I know that you not home._

__

And I can see you  
your brown skin shining in the sun.

_  
You got your hair combed back,  
sunglasses on, baby._

And I can tell youmy love for you will still be strong  
after the boys of summer have

_gone_.) ( Don Henley)

XXXXXXXX

**Sophie Germane Alcazar **regarded her husband with calculating eyes. She once had hopes he would leave the dirty work of his family business to Luis, that Lorenzo would keep his hands clean. But those hopes had been lost the moment Luis died...now she only wondered how long any of them would outlive him.

"They will come looking for the American," she said.

"Of course, they will," Lorenzo said. "In time...when they dry their tears and can think clearly again...they will come. And I will be waiting."

Their yatch sailed toward South America at a leisurely pace, as if they were not running away from upstate New York, as if they didn't have a care in the world. She had boarded this boat knowing what her eventual fate would be, but it wasn't even a question in her mind if this is where she should be. She had vowed to stand by this man till her last breath, and she would.

Sophie wondered if tonight would be the night she awoke to the sound of gun shots, if they would spare her and her baby, if Lorenzo would wise up and see past his vendetta before their every chance for escape was gone...would it be tonight? Or tomorrow?

She knew the day was coming. The fate she had tried so hard to save him from was going to claim the man she loved, it was going to catch up to them all, and they would be drug under the tide of this very ocean they sailed upon right now.


	17. Who I Would Kill For

**Chapter Seventeen Who I Would Kill For**

**December 2002**

**The night **Kendall left Port Charles, Carly and Michael moved to the safe house. Carly couldn't sleep so she paced the house all night. Her mind raced- as memories from years ago collided with ones from just days before.

She sat on the cold floor in the kitchen, with her back against the fridge, and called Jason.

"There's no body. For Ryan. His body went missing and it makes me think-" Carly started instead of even saying hello.

"That this whole thing is a set-up. Something isn't right," Jason said "Tell me how his body disappeared."

She explained everything she knew. She had called the hospital and funeral home herself and reamed them out for their mistakes and gross negligence, but the whole time she ranted her mind turned over the thought that no one had seen Ryan since the moment he was declared dead. Was that a horrible twist of fate or a calculated circumstance arranged by someone who wanted to make them think Ryan died?

Jason promised her, "If he is still alive, I will track him down. I'll bring him back to Kendall and John."

"I know you will." Carly sucked in a deep breath. She ran her hand through her hair. "But if he is gone...if he's dead...she'll hate me forever...Kendall will never see me again...no, I can't believe that...I'll give her time...she'll come around, don't you think? She has to ...right?"

"She's just scared right now of losing anything else."

"I know." Carly whispered "So am I...so you be real careful, Jase."

"I will," Jason said. After a moment he added, "I hate that you're there alone."

A small smile curved her lips. "Oh, I'm not alone." She rolled her eyes. "I have Brenda for company."

"Don't fight with her. Just take care of yourself, Michael and the baby. Let her be there for you...she could be your friend, if you would let her."

"I have all the friends and family I need. And that starts and ends with Johnny, the Spencers, Kendall and her son, you and our kids. That's it. You are all who I love and who I would kill for...not that ex-model man stealer who I can't even talk bad about anymore cause Johnny asked me not to..."

"Sounds like you are anyway," Brenda said from the other side of the kitchen island.

Carly twisted around and spotted her there. She sighed. "I love you, Jase. You and Johnny both come home to me...safe and sound, you hear?"

"Count on it...I love you. I love our kids. I will do anything I have to for you to get the family you want. Never forget that, no matter what."

"It's the best thing that ever happened to me," she said softly "How could I forget it?"

When they hung up, Brenda asked "Any news yet?"

"No." Carly didn't move off the floor. "So...I'm not apologizing, so don't hold your breath waiting for one."

"Ha! I know you too well to do that." Brenda walked over and held out her hand, to help Carly to her feet. After a moment, Carly accepted.

"God," Carly groaned "my life sucks...I am reduced to having only you around for comfort and support..."

"Well, be glad you have anyone at all. You may not be my favorite person but I'm here for you. I'm in this family whether you like it or not. I love Johnny and Jason just as much as you...and I don't plan on stopping ever. You can't chase me off, so you might as well give it up and stop trying."

Carly cried, "This just isn't fair! I want Charlotte back...I want to hold my nephew...I want Jason home...I want Max here smiling at me...for Ryan to be getting on my nerves...I want them all back...they're mine... it's not fair."

"No, it's not," Brenda said. Her tone was even and steady, but her eyes were filled with compassion.

(_When the tears_

_come streaming down your face _

_When you lose something _

_you can't replace _

_When you love someone, but it goes to waste..._

_I will try to fix you _) ( Lines for Coldplay song)

Carly said, "Don't be nice to me. I can't take anymore changes right now."

"All right," Brenda said and then smiled. "Bitch."

Slowly Carly started to smile back at her. "I'd rather be a bitch then a pint sized, doe eyed, man manipulator."

"Feel better?"

"A little," Carly admitted.

(_Lights will guide you home _

_and ignite your bones_

_And I will try to fix you_ )

They stayed up the rest of the night, talking to each other for the first time like two grown women and not rivals, enemies or competitors. They might never be friends but they would forever both be in this family that was not made of blood, by instead bound by loyalty and a willingness to die to save each other.

XXXXXXX

**Days later**

**Bianca Montgomery **lay in her bed at her mother's home. She was only visiting for the holidays. She lived in Seattle with her father, stepmother and siblings.

This room didn't really feel like home to her. This house didn't really seem like hers, but there was no denying the people here belonged to her.

Her Uncle Jack was sleeping over, to be their protector. She couldn't love him more if she tried. Her mother barely slept now, waking every hour to check with the guard in the nursery just to make sure that John was still safe, alive, well.

And her half-sister Kendall was in her bedroom, crying her heart out. After two full hours of this, Bianca could take no more of hearing the anguished sobs.

She went to the bedroom across the hall, and slipped inside.

Kendall looked up. "Sorry...did I wake you?"

"You need to sleep. Let me make you some tea to relax you."

"No...I'll be fine."

Bianca walked over and sat on the bed. She took Kendall's hand. They weren't really close but this was no time to hold the past against her. "Tell me what I can do."

"Nothing...no one can do anything now...Ryan died because he loved me... because he stayed with me...because I went and found him and put him in the middle of a mob war...because of my sister's boyfriend...I knew what Jason's job was and I didn't care, I still don't care how he makes his money...he loves Carly and that's all it took for me to love Jason and for me to put Ryan at risk over him...I was selfish again...it all falls on me. You shouldn't be nice to me, Bianca, I don't deserve it. Everyone who loves me suffers for it...so don't start to love me now...okay?"

"Whether I love you or hate you, we are sisters. So I'm staying right here tonight till you go to sleep. Ryan would want that. He would want you to let yourself rest...to get strong again so you can raise his son. Can you do that for all of us...for mom and Uncle Jack...for John...for Ryan?"

Hearing his name only caused a memory after memory to flash into Kendall's head. "I don't want to go on without him!" 

"Shhh. I know..." Bianca wiped away some of Kendall's tears "but you have to."

(_High up above or down below,_

_when you're too in love to_

_let it go._

_If you never try, _

_then you'll never know just what you're worth _)

Bianca smoothed back Kendall's hair. "Now please, sleep. You haven't let yourself fall asleep in days and you can't keep going on like that..."

Slowly, Kendall let her eyes close. She squeezed Blanca's hand. It was a long time before she fell asleep but her sister didn't leave go.

When morning came, Kendall woke up to find Bianca sleeping in the chair by her bed. As soon as Kendall sat up and started to climb out of bed, to check on her son, Bianca woke up

The two sisters stared at each other- related by blood but not friends, not yet, not close but bound together.

A hug sob rose through Kendall's body and she started to cry again. Bianca rushed over and wrapped her arms around her.

(_Tears stream down your face._

_  
I promise you _

_I will learn from my mistakes._

_Tears stream down on your face  
And I..._

Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you ) ( Coldplay)

_XXXXXXXX_

**From the helicopter**, with Marco at the controls, Johnny and Jason fired upon the yatch. When every guard was down, they slid down a ladder and jumped onto the ship.

Moving in silence, they raised their automatic weapons and cut down any guard that fired upon them until they made it to a bedroom where they came upon an elegantly dressed woman who held a baby.

"Where's Lorenzo?" Jason asked

"It's today," was all Sophie said and then she kissed her baby daughter's head. The day of reckoning had arrived.


	18. Closer Than Blood

**Chapter Eighteen Closer Than Blood**

**A big thank you to everyone who is sticking with this story. I know the updates are coming kinda slow.**

**2002**

_Ryan leaned over and kissed Kendall's pregnant stomach, as they lay in bed together_

"_I love you, son," he said to his unborn child "and I love your mama, too."_

_Ryan looked up at Kendall. "In fact, I love you so much that I don't want to wait another day to make you my wife. Will you marry me?"_

_She whispered, her words teary but sure, "In a heartbeat."_

_Ryan brought his lips to his and gave her a slow and sweet kiss. Her hand stroked his jaw. "Lets do it tomorrow. I'll find a justice of the peace and..."_

"_Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down, Lavery. You have to work tomorrow and I can't leave this bed till this little one pops out. I don't want our friends all dressed up and gathered around my bedside while I get hitched wearing a night gown."_

_He chuckled. "All right but tomorrow is going to be my last day at work. I'm staying here_

_with you twenty-four seven until our child is born. Then once we get back to Pine Valley we can plan a wedding...but I hope your mother doesn't want some huge, it takes two years to book the right location and find the perfect caterer event."_

"_I doubt Erica will even care how her illegitimate product of rape is doing, let alone what my wedding is like."_

_Ryan said softly, "You know she cares. She's been trying..."_

"_Kiss me again, please. And don't talk about her when I'm in a good mood."_

_Ryan did just that and when he pulled away, tears were in her eyes. "I'm so crazy about you," she said "I'm gonna love you every second of my life...so you better never walk away from me again..."_

"_Nothing could make me leave you," he had said that day and now in his dream it echoed, like a cruel taunt:_

_Nothing could make me leave you_

_Nothing could make me leave you_

_Nothing could make me leave you._

_  
_**Ryan woke **to the sound of gunfire. He had been on the ship a few days and realized he was being held by some kind of criminal organization. His hand was still handcuffed to the bed.

Every once in a while a doctor came in to check on him and make sure he was recovering from his surgery. Ryan didn't know why they were bothering to keep him alive. Just to kill him later, film it, and send it to Kendall a year or two from now...to break her heart again, he feared. To torture her or Carly or Jason in some way. To hurt his family.

He would not allow that to happen. He had been planning to try and escape as soon as the opportunity presented itself but, as he heard bullets pinging off metal and men running down the hallway, he knew it was now or never.

He started to moan loudly, faking pain. It was a few minutes before one of the men in the hallway came in.

"Time to move," the man said, hurrying toward the bed. "The boss is sure to abandon ship and if I leave you behind I'll be as good as dead...if any of us survive this..." the man undid the handcuffs " But if it comes down to it... you on your own, got it? I ain't dying to protect no bargaining chip but Boss will like it if you do survive...so move...come on..."

He hauled Ryan out of the bed. Ryan pretended he had much less strength than he did, till they got near the door. Then he grabbed the man around his neck, and broke it.

He stripped him of his gun and hissed at the man, "Your Boss will be meeting you...soon...count on it."

No one was going to stand in the way of Ryan getting back to his family. He had always hated the fact he was filled with rage, over his violent childhood, but right now he embraced it. That anger and short fuse would be his fuel to get off this ship, and back to the life he wanted, back to his newborn baby boy and Kendall.

**XXXXXXXXX**

**Kendall realized that life was only **about one thing- love. Without people to love and take care of, life was nothing.

She didn't think, before that week, Erica really loved her. That Jackson thought of her as family. That Bianca wanted her as a sister. But now she knew better.

She didn't think she could keep breathing without Ryan, but she was. Hard, painful breaths but they kept coming, one after another, keeping her alive.

She didn't think God would let her have a baby, yet she held him in her arms at this very moment.

As dangerous as it was to still care about Carly, to worry about how she was doing, to wonder if the stress of all this had compromised her pregnancy, to wonder if she was safe from Lorenzo Alcazar...as much as Kendall knew she was risking herself, her birth family, and even her own son by calling Carly, she still had to do it. That fact scared her, how much Carly meant to her, but it didn't really surprise her.

She set the baby into his crib and dialed her cell.

"Charlotte?" Carly's voice was immediately filled with worry.

"Yes, it's me. I'm fine...as fine as I can be, at least...how are you?"

"Okay. We're in hiding for now. Michael, Brenda and me. Jason is still out of town. I thought ..." Carly paused and then went on "Have you changed your mind?"

"I have to protect my son but I can't pretend like you don't matter to me. I can't not know how your doing. I spent years just wondering about you...sending up all these silent prayers and making all these deals with God...just hoping you were doing all right, wherever you were."

Kendall sighed and went on "Do I wish you never hooked up with a guy in the mob? Yeah, I do. I like Jason but...look what it's done to all of us...still you had to love him. Like I had to love Ryan. I don't want to let him down by letting anything happen to John...but I miss you so much already...and I miss Ryan...and I can't miss both of you this much at the same time. It's too hard...I don't even know how I am going to survive his funeral tomorrow..."

Kendall sobbed in frustration and added "I need my life back...I need those months when I was hugely pregnant and fat and stuck in bed...when Ryan was sleeping next to me each night...when I believed it was all going to work out..."

Kendall crying made Carly cry.

(_Time can bring you down, _

_time can bend your knees._

_  
Time can break your heart, _

_have you begging please )_

Kendall said "I've got to go...I don't know if I can call again...but always know...I'm glad I

met you on that playground when we were thirteen and I am glad I ran into you on the docks in October. I don't blame you for anything. You will always be a part of my family, Caroline. Ryan...he loved you and Jason and your babies just as much as I do, maybe just because I do... ..he believed in this family and I know he never wanted to leave any of us behind...and he didn't because no matter where any of us are...we're all together still."

"I'm gonna make this right," Carly promised "Just believe in me. I can figure out a way."

"I know you want to...but it's too late. Ryan's gone and nothing can ever be right for me again." Kendall said "I have to go...kiss Michael for me and keep him safe, no matter what you have to do...you keep that boy safe..."

"I will. Jason will. Its dangerous, his lifestyle, but worth it...we have to be together."

"I know...I'd risk all that and more if it meant Ryan was by my side again. Just please, for me, don't...get hurt." Kendall choked back another sob and whispered, "Good-bye, Caroline."

(_Beyond the door, there's peace I'm sure.  
and I know there'll be no more tears in Heaven ..._

Would you know my name if I saw you in Heaven?  
Would you feel the same if I saw you in Heaven?

_  
I must be strong and carry on,  
'Cause I know I don't belong here in Heaven ...) ( Eric Clapton)_

XXXXXXXXX

**Jason told Sophie Germaine Alcazar **to take her baby and hide in the adjoining bathroom to her suite. He promised to come back for her and do what he could to get her safely off the boat.

Then Jason and Johnny moved back into the hallway again.

The yatch had fallen eerily silent. The two men, dressed from head to toe in black, slid along the wall. At each door way they knocked it down and looked for Lorenzo but didn't come upon him in any of the first three. They turned a corner and a gun rose to point at Jason's head.

"Morgan," the man ground out.

Their eyes met. Jason lowered his gun but Johnny raised his.


	19. Go To Extremes

**Chapter Nineteen **

**Go To Extremes**

_Note- Well, we've come to the start of the third act of The Unforgiven. Thanks for reading up to this point. There are so many scenes I would love to add to this story but I don't want it to be fifty chapters. _

_Thanks for reading up to this point._

_So now we begin to close in on the end..._

**Chapter Nineteen **

"Morgan," Ryan ground out.

Their eyes met. Jason lowered his gun but Johnny raised his. The look in Ryan's eyes was filled with anger, pain, and layers of regrets. His gun was aimed right between Jason's eyes.

Johnny ordered, "Lower it now."

Ryan seemed to snap out of his trance and he said "Took you two long enough to get here."

He lost all his energy in that moment and slumped against the wall. Jason grabbed his arm to steady him. "Got here as quick as we could, man. You seen Alcazar?"

"Yeah, he came to my room a few times...sick bastard...wanted to tell me all about his perv brother Luis...what a good man he was...how lucky I was to still be alive..." A fresh wave of anger came into Ryan's blue eyes. "I want to be the one to put a bullet in him."

Before anyone could say anything else, Johnny spun around and shot a guard who was trying to sneak up on them. The man went flying backwards, hitting the wall hard from the force of the bullet to his heart. Blood splattered stain the hall.

"Lets move," Johnny said "We all got people to get home to...lets get this done."

Jason asked Ryan, "Can you walk?"

Ryan nodded, and did his best to follow after the other two men.

XXXXXXX

**Brenda didn't know how she got **stuck on Carly-sitting duty but she sure as hell planned to tell Jason off when she saw him next, right after she gave him a hug for coming home safely and for bringing Johnny back to her.

But for now she couldn't think about any of that, she had to stop a crazed blonde from escaping the safe house.

"You are not leaving!" Brenda dodged back and forth in front of Carly. They looked like two football players in a very untalented Pee wee league.

"Move it, short stack," Carly said. She carried a huge overnight back on her shoulder and used to like a weapon to keep Brenda from grabbing her as she tried to barrel past her.

"Hell no, you aren't getting me bitched at by Jase cause his _great love _once again went nutso as soon as his back was turned. Halt!"

Carly's face only grew more determined as she moved toward the back door.

"Kendall needs me," Carly said "I'm going."

"The hell you are. You and Michael are staying right here." Brenda reached out to grab her arm. Carly stuck out her foot and tripped Brenda.

Brenda landed on the ground, groaning in frustration that she couldn't just kick Carly's ass and then drug her, due to the fact Carly was pregnant. If not for that, Brenda would certainly be trying that plan at this very moment.

Carly hurried toward the door, as Brenda jumped up and ran after her. She caught up to her right as Carly yanked the back door open and yelled at the guard standing there "They got my son! Gunmen. Upstairs. Move."

"What?" asked Brenda, shocked "No...wait.."

But the guard was already convinced. His eyes were wide with fear. If Jason found out he let anything happened to Carly or Michael, the guard knew his life wouldn't be worth two cents.

The guard used his walkie talkie to call in all the other guards as he sprinted past the two women toward the second level of the safe house. Carly ran outside and headed for a car. She was behind the wheel in half a minute flat, sticking the keys she had stolen earlier in the day into the ignition.

Brenda dived into the passenger seat as Carly started to drive off.

"That was low, Carly. Even for you," she said "How could you leave your son like that? And slow down. Who taught you to drive? AHHHH. Oh my God, that's right. You don't even have a ...ahhhhh...license..."

The car sped down the country road at warp speeds, taking curves too fast and ignoring stop signs.

Carly said calmly, "Bobbie will be there within five minutes to stay with Michael and he has Leticia. He'll be fine and safe. I told him I had to go visit his Aunt Charlotte and cousin John. Kendall needs my support at Ryan's funeral tomorrow. You should have heard her on the...oh, shit..." Carly over corrected as she almost slid off the road. The tires squealed. "Phone. She's so devastated...damn, get out of the way truck."

"That's a semi! Don't try and cut him off. You can't pass on this street. Carly. Carly...CARLY! Pull over."

Carly rolled her eyes at what she considered Brenda being overly dramatic. "Put on your damn seatbelt and shut up."

Brenda longed to punch her. If only to knock her out, so she could take the wheel. She decided to have a long talk with Jason about putting Carly on Prozac.

Carly stomped the accelerator, oblivious to the posted speed limit. She had a determined look in her eye that bordered on maniac. It was the one she got when she was fighting to protect someone she loved.

"Let me drive," Brenda said, using the sweetest tone she could muster. "I'll take you to Kendall. I swear...on Jason's life...there, you happy? You believe me, right? Cause I don't want to lose him anymore than you do."

Carly eyed her skeptically. Then slammed on the brakes.

"AHHH! You can't stop in the middle of an intersection." The semi and several other cars swerved around them.

"You said you would drive. Then drive." Carly got out of the car and they switched seats.

Brenda muttered curse words and they started off again. "You're pregnant. I would think that suicide death missions like you attempting to drive several states away while mobsters hunt you down would be on the Do Not Attempt While You are Knocked Up with my Best Friend's Baby list."

In a completely offended tone, Carly protested, "Jason is my best friend! Not yours. How _dare _you..." the tone of her voice made it sound like Brenda just committed high treason.

"You're nuts. Just so you know, you are. I can't believe you did this..."

Carly could not understand for the life of her what was so shocking about her behavior.

She tried to explain by saying softly, "I have to see Kendall. She needs me. I can't let her down when she needs me."

Her words were so heartfelt that Brenda started to soften.

After a long pause, Brenda replied. "Okay."

_God, help me_, the brunette silently prayed, _I'm going along with a plan of Carly's!_


	20. Hunt You Down

**Chapter Twenty- Hunt You Down**

**Jason, dressed head to toe in black**, crept down the hallway on the yatch. Ryan stumbled, leaning somewhat on the wall, behind him. Johnny took up the rear, checking behind them and shot any guard of Alcazar's that approached them. They checked the whole boat by now didn't come along the man they were searching for.

They heard voices coming from on the deck. Jason looked back at the two men following him, pointing up, and they nodded. At the next stairway, they headed onto the deck, ducking low as their heads rose into the crisp ocean air.

Jason immediately spotted Lorenzo attempting to get his wife and child onto a speedboat. They were about to climb down a ladder into the water.

All three men raised their guns.

"Don't move," Jason called out. His tone was lethal.

Lorenzo turned and met his eyes. Pure hate stared back at Jason.

"You," Lorenzo sneered "Oh, yes, the ever protective Jason Morgan who will travel anywhere on earth just to kill whoever he deems has hurt one of the women in the horde who rely on him. That was my brother's crime, no? Upsetting Miss Barret? Or so you _thought_."

Lorenzo whipped out a gun. Johnny took a few steps closer to him, not saying a word, and cocked his weapon.

XXXXXXXXXX

**Sophia huddled behind Lorenzo**, trying to shield her baby. She whispered into his ear, "Please, just come with me...we can jump...we could make it..."

Even now, she wondered how she could ever leave him behind. He hadn't always been this insane. It was the grief and guilt that drove him to this place. Once he wasn't a criminal at all, he was just a businessman who loved her and promised fifty years of happiness for their family- a life than she feared was turning into smoke right before her eyes.

Lorenzo went on, screaming into the wind, his tone bitter. "But what you killed my brother over, all his supposed sins, were just lies thought up by that whore, Brenda. She stayed with him because she wanted to. He treated her well at _all_ times. Impeccable. He loved her."

XXXXXXXXX

**Johnny's jaw clenched**. His finger ached to pull the trigger but the bullets could pass right through Lorenzo and into the women and baby if he did, so he knew he had to hold off till he could get a clean shot.

Lorenzo laughed. The sound was filled with rage, pain and revenge. "Well, that is neither here nor there now, is it? You murdered my blood. My beautiful, loyal, brother who should have lived to see a hundred."

Jason started to inch toward the woman and child, to drag them out of the way.

Lorenzo took a few steps toward a open briefcase. It was turned away from Ryan, Jason and Johnny.

"Don't even think about it!" yelled Ryan. Lorenzo froze in place, but his eyes glanced down at the briefcase.

Ryan started towards Lorenzo. "You sent those men that shot me. Do you know what they did? Held guns on my fiancee and my newborn son." Red flashed behind his eyes.

"Lavery," Johnny said in a clipped tone. Ryan stilled. He shook with pent up anger.

Jason looked at the briefcase then said to Sofia, "Go. Get out of here. Now."

Her eyes darted back and forth. "No," she whimpered "I can't leave. Lorenzo, please...please, make peace with them...somehow...don't let us end this way."

Lorenzo flinched at the pleading tone of her voice but didn't look back.

XXXXXXXXX

**Sofia looked over the railing **at the water below. Wild, huge waves hit against the side of yatch. If she didn't go soon, she'd be underneath that water, her baby would be sinking, Lorenzo would be lost to her forever.

She had never hated Luis, when he was alive, though she saw what Lorenzo never could: the cruel sadism that lurked in Luis' dark eyes. Now she _did _hate Luis though, _despised_ him to her core for putting this all in motion. She clutched her baby tighter and tried to think of some way to save them all.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Brenda first drove to Johnny's apartment**. When she parked at the curb, Carly said "Oh, no, no, no...don't think about getting out of this car. You do and I am taking off."

She reached for the keys but Brenda grabbed them first. Carly tried to snatch them back

Brenda had to quickly move her hand and body at the same time to out maneuver her. Carly practically crawled on top of Brenda to try and get the keys.

"Dial back the crazy," Brenda ordered, holding Carly off with one hand while she jumped out of the car.

Carly quickly followed her, ready to attack and get those keys since Brenda didn't seem to be keeping her end of the bargain by driving Carly to Pennsylvania.

"Hold up!" Brenda said as they stood on the lawn. "Don't even come over here acting all WWE on me again. If you are intent on going to see Kendall then we need back-up."

"None of those guards will let us go," Carly said. "Jason would have their heads if they did. We're on our own."

Brenda headed for the doorstep. "Well, whoever shot Ryan could still be around. When it comes to the Alcazar family, take it from me, you don't want them catching up to you without having some way to even out the odds."

She pulled out her key and unlocked the door, then glanced over her shoulder at Carly.

"We need guns," Carly said, the words were spoken slowly as she realized what the brunette was getting at.

Brenda smiled. "Yeah, big ones."

They both went to the firing range many times before with Johnny, because he believed they had to know how to save their own lives in the instance no one else was around to do it. Jason, on the other hand, firmly believed he would come and save Carly, or Brenda, in the nick of time and they should just stay calm and wait.

Calm was Carly's worst event, though. It led Jason to constantly fear for her but she couldn't do much to change her reckless nature. When someone she loved was in trouble she acted first and dealt with the consequences later.

After going inside the apartment and getting the weapons, the two women got into another argument about if Carly would wear a bulletproof vest for the car ride.

"Now you are being ridiculous!" Carly cried as Brenda threw it at her.

"Max."

A moment passed, Carly's face softened. She could nearly feel him there with them, still looking out for her, wanting to keep her safe. He gave his life in that pursuit, protecting Kendall just like he would have Carly.

Carly said, "Fine. Fine. Okay, lets just go. Damn, do you move slow. I could have been half way there by now."

"The way you drive...you could have been halfway to whatever emergency room you crashed closest to."

"Ha. ha. Screw you. Lets go."

Brenda grabbed the keys to Johnny's SUV that had bullet proof glass. Even though the limo that was shot up the day Max died had the same kind of glass in the windows, and the shooters had bullets that pierced it, it was still worth taking the precaution.

If there was anyway to talk Carly out of going, Brenda would have but she knew that she would end up the one drugged or slugged or ditched in some way - and Carly would end up gone, driving herself as best she could- if Brenda tried to slow her down another time.

They got back on the road. Their cell phones started ringing with calls from the guards who were left behind at the safe house. Brenda answered and explained the situation. When she hung up she told Carly, "You better call Jason. He isn't going to be too thrilled with you when he hears about this..."

"He'll understand."

"You aren't someone _anyone _could ever understand."

"He does."

"I certainly don't know how..." Brenda said.

"And you don't have to, wench," Carly said. She threw a smirk at her.

"Play nice, biatch."

"Or what? Will you tell Johnny on me?"

"Nope. I'll just make sure that when I am a bridesmaid in your wedding I look so good that no one even notices the bride," Brenda said, with a taunting little smile on her lips.

"You aren't gonna be an _anything_ in my wedding."

"Sorry, chickee. 'Fraid I am. Jason just happens to love me."

"Oh! He puts up with you..."

"Out of love."

"You better not even think about touching him or hurting Johnny cause if you do I will, I promise you, think up new and painful ways to make you suffer."

Brenda gave her a look that said, _Your crazy is showing_, then answered, "Jason loves me as a friend. Damn. Why are you so territorial? I knew both of them before you ever even came to town..."

"That doesn't matter in the least. I took care of both of them when you flew off that cliff and didn't bother to call, write or even issue a press release that your famous model ass wasn't at the bottom of the Atlantic."

"I just bet you threw a party that day."

"How cruel do you think I am?"

Brenda raised an eyebrow but didn't answer.

Carly narrowed her eyes at her but smiled. "Just shut up and drive, will ya?"

"Me shut-up? You don't know the meaning of those words. Besides, now that I have you trapped, I wanted to ask you something anyway."

Carly heard the slight change in her tone, as all the snarking fell away. Softly, she asked "What?"

"Tell me what Johnny was like while I was gone."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

**Javier dialed his cell**, calling his boss.

He left a message, speaking in Spanish, " One of their vehicles is moving. I'm looking at the GPS right now. About to head out and track it down. Let me know what you want done with whoever I find. Doubt Morgan would be so lax as to let us get a tail on him but one of his men might not have checked for the transponder. Get back to me or else I'll just scoop them up and let you figure out later what kind of punishment to dole out this time."

He clicked his phone off. Grabbed his keys, jacket and gun, then headed for his car.


	21. A Time For Dying

**Note- Thank you to everyone who reviews this story. I really love hearing what you think.**

**Chapter Twenty One- A Time for Dying**

**Kendall was standing in the nursery**, looking down at baby John, when she heard a short knock on the door.

She looked over and saw a tall, blonde haired man sticking his head in. A teary smile came to her face. "Leo."

He was a good friend of Bianca's and had grown close to Ryan years before when Ryan's first wife died. Her heart was donated to Laura, who was Leo's wife at the time. The two men bonded over shared pain and shared faith in miracles, fate, destiny and karma.

Sometimes one life had to be given to save another, one dream lost to gain the chance for someone else to dream at all. It wasn't fair; it was life.

Leo's light eyes met Kendall's darker ones, and pain flashed into both.

(_ Tears are in your eyes_

_Come on _

_and come to me now._

_Don't_

_be ashamed to cry._

_Let me see you through _

_Cause I've seen the dark side too )_

"I don't want to intrude," Leo said. Even as he said this, he was opening his arms and she was rushing across the room into them.

She cried, into his broad, strong chest "Ryan's...gone. It doesn't feel real...how can he be gone? I can still feel him..."

Leo smoothed his hand over her hair and murmured, "He loved you too much to ever truly leave you. You'll always feel him."

(_I'll stand by you _

_I'll stand by you _

_won't let nobody hurt you_

_I'll stand by you_

_Take me in, _

_into your darkest hour_

_and I'll never desert you _

_I'll stand by you _) ( The Pretenders)

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Sofia Germaine Alcazar **started to sob, as she stood on the deck of The Omerta, the yatch owned by her husband's family. Lorenzo was lost into a grief fueled madness, a darkness she couldn't pull him back from.

"Go," Jason told her. He nodded at the ladder that Sofia was standing near, holding her baby in her arms as tears streamed from her face onto the child.

She felt Jason was the calmest of the men who stood pointing guns her way. Ryan, the one Lorenzo held prisoner, was shaking and inching ever closer to Lorenzo. He might start firing at any moment.

The other man was frozen in place but his eyes were hard, filled with a coldness that offered no room for reprieve. He was planning to put a bullet into Lorenzo, she could tell, before this day was done.

Sofia knew there was only seventy- two seconds left before it would be too late for talking, negotiating, begging, or bargaining. When those seconds ticked by all that would be left was a time for dying.

Lorenzo glanced at the briefcase again and then everything started to happen quickly.

Jason jogged toward Sofia, yelling, "Go. Now."

Johnny took deliberately slow steps toward Lorenzo, wanting to move past Ryan before he started shooting.

Ryan sucked in one large painful breath and said to Lorenzo, "You aren't even sorry. You're a monster without an ounce of honor, just like your brother. You aren't fit to be alive when a good man like Max Giambetti is dead. Why don't you say his name like your men made Kendall say Luis."

Lorenzo shook his head, no.

Ryan cursed at him and yelled, "Say it!"

Lorenzo pulled the trigger on his gun, aiming at Johnny, then he dived toward the deck.

"NO!" Sofia screamed, her eyes pinned on him. Jason grabbed her and forced her to look at him.

"Save your baby," Jason said. She finally focused and started to make her way down the ladder, holding her baby tightly in one arm and she gripped with ladder with her other one.

Jason spun around and saw bullets flying back and forth between Lorenzo, who was pinned behind a trunk that held life jackets, and Ryan and Johnny who kept moving closer to him as they unloaded their weapons. Jason threw himself to the ground and crawled over to the briefcase, confirming what he suspected. A bomb stared back at him.

49 seconds remained on it.

Another guard of Lorenzo's came running onto the deck, his gun was pointed straight at Ryan. Just before he could fire, Jason put a bullet into his chest.

30 seconds remained on the bomb and bullets were still flying all around him.

XXXXXXX

**Lorenzo felt his heart rate **slow down, by sheer force of will he calmed himself. Time started to move slowly. He spied from the corner of his eye Sofia disappear over the side of the yatch, taking his baby daughter with her. They would survive this day and be his legacy.

He had accepted his fate the moment he learned Luis was dead. He would die while avenging his fallen brother. But, first, he would make these thieves who stole him away paid- with fear and heartache and rivers of blood. And he would make sure they left all their loved ones behind weeping tears that never ended. Lorenzo wanted them to feel what he did when he put his brother into the ground.

The bullets kept getting closer to him but zinging past and hitting the boat. Lorenzo stuck his arm out and fired a few more shots but he was shooting blind. He knew he had to stand up, if he hoped to hit them.

He said a silent prayer _Lord, forgive me these sins as I forgive those who sin against me..._..and then he was on his feet again, his gun swinging to aim straight for the chest of the person closet to him. Morgan's right hand man, as close as a brother. The perfect one to kill first.

XXXXXXXXX

Before Lorenzo could pull the trigger, Johnny fired a bullet into his shoulder. Lorenzo fell back against the rail.

"Bomb!" Jason yelled

Johnny's eyes jerked over to him for a fraction of a second. Lorenzo started firing again but just as he did he was shot several times in the stomach by Ryan, then Johnny's eyes swung back and he was shooting Lorenzo too. The mob rival fell into the ocean.

Ryan collapsed onto the deck, exhausted and bleeding from where his stitches had reopened.

Johnny moved immediately to Ryan and hauled him back to his feet.

Jason tried to lift up the briefcase and throw it into the water but it was bolted to the deck. The timer read 13 seconds.

Getting back on his feet, Jason ordered "We got to jump."

He helped Johnny get Ryan to the edge of the ship. Then all three plunged over the side just as the bomb went off, lighting up the sky and heating up the air behind them.

Johnny was the first to surface. He looked around but didn't see anyone else. In his mind images of Brenda and then Carly flashed.

Johnny thought about the promises he made to come home to them alive, to bring Jason back the same way...he thought about how much Carly loved Kendall and how losing Ryan would be a loss they would all carry and make their own, if he gave his life as a sacrifice in a war he hadn't ever agreed to fight, if Ryan died for this family all of them would mourn him till their own last breaths...Johnny only spared a half a second on thinking all this and then he dived back under the water.

He wasn't leaving his family behind in this ocean today. 

(_You're feeling all alone _

_You won't be on your own _

_I'll stand by you..._

_I'll stand by you_

_I'll stand by you _)

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Brenda drove down the highway. Carly was in the passenger seat, finally calmed down.

"So you're serious about Johnny then?" Carly asked.

"I'm in love with him."

"Crap."

Brenda smiled.

Carly asked, "And what about the next time Sonny comes knocking on your door? He may be busy burning up the sheets with his lawyer right now but he could always get nostalgic for all he thinks he lost with you. Will you throw my Johnny away when that happens?"

"Your Johnny?" Brenda rolled her eyes. "Your Johnny. Your Jason. Is it Your Sonny, too?"

"You can have him."

"Oh, how generous of you. Listen, whatever there was between me and Sonny was over before I ever got in that car accident. I might have promised the rest of my life to Jax back then, but I see now a lot of my heart was already with Johnny. And when he comes back home..." Brenda shot her a look, raising both eyebrows "I'm asking him to marry me."

Carly's mouth dropped.

"Don't even try," Brenda warned "to screw it up either because I won't let you. You are not the only one in the world who knows how to fight dirty for what they want. There is a bed in a mental hospital somewhere with your name on it if you ever even attempt to turn Johnny against me."

"You know what? That's not funny."

"Swear you won't try it then."

Carly gritted her teeth. "I won't. I wouldn't do that...to him. To you...sure. But not him. He's really been good to me...he doesn't think I'm all those names people around town call me...he never told me to just give up on Jason or my dreams for our family. He moved me out of Sonny's and he was even there to hold Michael in the middle of the night, when Jason was out of town and I didn't know if he would ever come home. I want the best for Johnny... he deserves it."

What went unspoken, but Carly knew, was that you didn't always get the happy ever after you deserved. Especially not in their world.

Suddenly the SUV was jolted when another vehicle ran into the back of them.

"What was that?" asked Brenda

Carly whipped her head around and looked out the back window.

_BUMP_. The vehicle rammed them again. The SUV wheels started to slide off the road. Brenda fought to keep it from flying into a nearby field.

Brenda grumbled, "Damn it, how did I know some of Alcazar goons would find us before we ever got to Pennsylvania? Another Carly _plan_ shot all to hell." 

A terrified look came over Carly's face as her hand moved to her stomach. Brenda saw this and immediately said, "Don't even think it. No one is dying here today. That's Jason's baby and we aren't letting anything happen to her. Right?"

Carly nodded.

_(Won't let nobody hurt you_

_I'll stand by you _

_I'll stand by you _

_Take me in, _

_into your darkest_

_hour _

_and I'll never desert you _

_I'll stand by you _)

_BUMP. _The sound of metal scrapping metal punctuated the air.


	22. Times of Trouble

**Chapter Twenty Two **

**Times of Trouble**

_**BUMP**_**. The vehicle **rammed them again. The SUV wheels started to slide off the road. Brenda fought to keep it from flying into a nearby field.

Brenda grumbled, "Damn it, how did I know some of Alcazar goons would find us? Another Carly _plan_ shot all to hell." 

A terrified look came over Carly's face as her hand moved to her stomach. Brenda saw this and immediately said, "Don't even think it. No one is dying here today. That's Jason's baby and we aren't letting anything happen to her. Right?"

Carly nodded.

_BUMP. _The sound of metal scrapping metal punctuated the air.

XXXXXXXXX

**Johnny opened his eyes **under the water and spotted Jason dragging Ryan toward the surface. He swam closer and helped him.

Once they were above the water, the heard a helicopter overheard. Marco was circling back to pick them up, right on schedule.

"He's not breathing," Jason said about Ryan.

XXXXXXXXXX

**Brenda jerked into the **next lane, closer to the median, and the car came up on the side of them. Bullets started to fly at them.

Carly grabbed a gun and rolled down the window.

"Don't do that! The glass is bulletproof."

"But the tires aren't," Carly said. "And he's trying to shoot them out."

Carly fired at the other car and after four shots managed to hit the back wheel. Only one man was inside. He had to drop his weapon to try to regain control of the car. It flew off the road, flipping over several times.

Carly sat back down, rolling up the window, "I don't think we should mention this to Jason."

"Deal."

XXXXXXXXX

**Kendall was getting used **to living her life surrounded by guards.

It was a small price to pay to insure John wouldn't be the next victim in a mob war. She felt guilty- but the reasons were murky. She couldn't hate the fact she went to Port Charles, because it got Ryan back into her life for a few months and it reunited her with Caroline. It healed her heart. But the price had been high. Too high.

She ached for Ryan. Standing next to Leo at the boathouse, holding her son, she tried to find some peace. Though it was December there wasn't any snow on the ground. It was a mild winter day, with clouds blocking out the sun

Guards hovered a few feet away, ready to shoot the first threat that came against them.

Leo brought her here because to him and Bianca both this place was peaceful, safe, healing. But to Kendall it was just cold, hollow, and empty. Pain filled her chest, making it hard to breath.

She gasped for air.

Leo touched her arm, "Just breath. Slowly. In and out. That's it...get through this moment...just this moment, Kendall."

Every breath felt like it could be her last. How could she live without Ryan?

_(Without you _

_there'd be no sun in my sky _

_There would be no love in my life _

_There would be no world left for me_...) ( Trisha Yearwood)

Leo picked up John, holding him with one arm, and pulled Kendall close into a hug. She hadn't ever been his good friend, not before this. But they had Ryan in common, and Bianca- they were both part of the same circle of love. Leo would hold her up while she tried to learn to breathe again...without the man she loved by her side anymore.

Kendall cried, into his shirt, "I want him back. I can't make it without him...I just can't..."

(_How do I ever, ever survive?_

_How do I?_

_How do I? _

_Oh how do I live_?)

XXXXXXXXXXX

**Johnny kept his arm around **Ryan's back, keeping him afloat in the Atlantic Ocean. Jason gave him mouth to mouth resuscitation.

"Come on! Lavery," Johnny ground out "You got to breath, man. Breath."

In that moment, he decided it would be kinder to never tell Carly or Kendall they found Ryan on the yatch and this is how he died. It would be cruel to give them added pain to grieve over, to let them know how hard Ryan fought to get back home and that he still lost in the end.

The noise from the helicopter's propellers zoomed closer as Marco made another pass over them.

Johnny knew they couldn't leave Ryan here in water. He deserved better than to be abandoned like that.

The speed boat Sofia was in was long gone. The yatch was burning and sinking thirty feet away, setting on fire an oil slick in the water.

Ryan started coughing.

Johnny let out the breath he was holding.

Jason said, "Good to have you back, Lavery. Hang on. We're going to get you out of here, all right?"

"Ken..."

"What?"

"Kendall...my son...did he hurt them?" Ryan finally was able to ask the question he was afraid to voice before. If the answer was wrong, it would devastate him and take away his reason for living.

"No, man," Johnny said "They're fine. Waiting for you back to Pennsylvania. So lets get you there."

XXXXXXX

**HOURS LATER**

Carly called her mother to check on Michael and learned Bobbie was staying at the safe house. She hung up without telling Bobbie where she was

Brenda pulled up in front of Erica Kane's home.

A guard stepped over to her SUV. "Can I help you?"

"We'd like to see Kendall," Brenda said, throwing at him her sweetest smile.

For a second he was putty in her hands, smiling brightly at her, but then he replied, " I'm so sorry but I simply can not allow that. She isn't taking visitors besides family."

"Lucky for us," Carly said "we are family. Now get your ass out of my way and open this gate."

He stilled, then shot her a harsh look that screamed _Never._

Carly pulled out the gun. "Now."

The man said into his walkie talkie "Code Red."

The car was swarmed with security guards. Brenda quickly rolled back up the window.

Brenda cried in frustration, "You couldn't hold off being crazy for five more minutes, could you? I was working him."

"You weren't working nothing. Those doe eyes can only take you so far."

The guards tried to yank open the doors but they were locked.

Brenda asked, "So, what's your _plan_ now?"

Carly glared at her.

"The police have been called. Exit the vehicle immediately. You are surrounded."

Carly huffed, "They got some nerve trying to keep me from seeing my sister. Don't they know who I am?" Through the glass she yelled in her most offended voice "Don't you know who I am? I'm Carly Spencer. You better recognize!"

"Geez," Brenda said under her breath.

Sirens filled the air.

"This will be on the news."

"Oh, poor famous model, gonna get bad press."

"Jason will find out."

"He'll get over it."

"You don't leave him a lot of options in that department. I bet that is the exact same words you used when you threw A. J. in a laundry cart. '_He'll get over it_.'"

"Desperate times call for desperate measures. Jason gets that." Carly said to Brenda. Then she screamed at the guards "Get La Kane out here. I'm seeing my sister today and that is that. Don't you know who..."

"They don't care who you are, Carly."

"Exit the SUV now. This is the Pine Valley Police Force."

"Good job, Carly."

"Shut-up, Brenda."


	23. Better than Bread and Water

**Chapter Twenty Three-Better than Bread and Water**

Erica Kane shook her head in disbelief at the scene before her. Right outside of the gates to her mansion the police had surrounded an SUV.

At first Jackson had refused to let Erica, Kendall or Bianca out of the house to see what was going on but then the phone rang and it was Derek Frye saying the name of the woman in the SUV. Erica had flipped her lid, screeching, "_Who? She did what? Pulled a gun on my guard? The nerve..."_

They all had hurried outside and right into the middle of a chaotic scene.

Now Carly was staring down Erica as if she hadn't done a thing wrong.

"Call off the Five-oh, Mama La Kane," Carly ordered. "Tell them you know me. I'm family."

"Whose family?" asked Erica "You surely don't mean mine?"

"Don't start with me, you old bat," Carly said.

Brenda grabbed her arm and hissed "You are going to get us sent up the river!"

"Shut-up. I have this under control," said Carly. She looked at Kendall "I came for Ryan's funeral and because I had to check on you but your security team didn't seem to understand who I am to you. Its just a small misunderstanding and if your mother would open her big mouth and admit that I am an invited guest..."

"Like hell!" cried Erica

Carly went on, "This could all be put behind us with any further harassment from the authorities." In a stage whisper she added "They are upsetting Brenda and you know she's delicate."

"Bitch," hissed Brenda, under her breath.

"Slut," Carly threw back on instinct. Neither was actually upset at each other but old habits die hard. Brenda was worried about just how dire the consequences of going along with a Carly plan might turn out to be, though. She vowed to never be so foolish again.

"Ladies, ladies please," said Derek, the chief of police, "Lets try to stay focused now. This is a serious matter. Though the gun Ms. Spencer had is registered in the State of New York, it is not registered to her nor does she have a permit to carry it in Pennsylvania. Since Ms. Barret was driving the vehicle she could also be charged as an accessory. You could both end up spending a fair amount of time as my guests down at the city jail. The courts are backed up due to the Christmas holidays...probably wouldn't see a judge till after New Years."

Carly's eyes widened. She had to get back home to spend Christmas with Michael, and then it would be his birthday. She couldn't be away from him for over two weeks.

She stomped her foot. "Erica! Did you hear that? You had better speak up and I mean now. Now. Speak. NOW!"

Erica smirked at her and fluffed her hair, staying silent.

Brenda started to flirt with Derek, who immediately smiled when she complimented him on how well his suit fit and asked if he had ever done any modeling in his younger days. Then she explained she had jobs booked that she couldn't possibly get out of at this late day and wasn't there some other way they could handle this instead of charging her and Carly with a slew of misdemeanors and felonies.

Carly rolled her eyes at Brenda's antics.

Derek told Brenda "Though I would love to help you...my daughter is a big fan of yours...I certainly can't overlook such grievous offensives such as pointing a loaded weapon at an unarmed man on private property."

Kendall finally spoke up. She looked at Jackson and said "I need Carly to be with me tomorrow at the funeral. I don't think I can say good-bye to Ryan without having her there...I don't know if I can say good-bye at all but I know I need her."

Jackson pulled Derek aside and started to negotiate.

Carly hugged Kendall. "I know this is hard but we will get through it together...I'm here and I love you."

"I love you, too." Kendall pulled out of the hug and whispered. "God, I miss him...everyday it gets worse, not better. When does it start to get better?"

She looked around at the other faces there- the cops, the guards, Bianca, Erica, Brenda- and repeated, in a soft and desperate tone, "When?"

No one had an answer for her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The helicopter touched down in the Florida Keys.

Jason and Johnny helped Ryan off and into a nearby waiting car. The pilot, Marco, got out of the helicopter and jumped into the car to drive.

Once they were on their way Jason called his men at the safe house. After listening to them for a few minutes he said "You better hope I find them...alive and unharmed." He clicked off the phone call.

Seeing the expression on his face, Johnny asked "What? Don't tell me someone ambushed the house..."

"Carly took off after distracting the guards with some bullshit story about Michael being in danger. She stole a car and drove off to God knows where."

"Drove?" Ryan asked, his eyes wide with concern.

"Drove!" Johnny cried "She can't drive."

"Brenda got in the car with her so she's probably at the wheel."

"What in the hell," Johnny grumbled. "Brenda would never go along with a Carly plan."

"Well, she did and they are both M.I.A," Jason said through clenched teeth. "Damn it. We got to get back there and figure out where Carly just had to go instead of staying with her son..." as the realization hit him, coming slower than usual because when he freaked out of Carly his brain started to not work quite as fast or well, Jason nodded and said "of course."

He looked at Johnny, who added. "Right. She went to see.."

"Kendall," Ryan said.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jackson Montgomery would do anything for his family. He was a moral man- lawyer, son of high society parents, brother to a former Senator.

People trusted Jackson. His word carried a lot of weight in Pine Valley. So when he asked his old friend Derek to look the other way that is just what the cop did. But Derek warned Jackson to keep his "family drama" behind closed doors from now on.

Once the cops left they all shuffled in off the lawn and settled into the living room. Brenda and Bianca were introduced. Kendall and Carly sat on the couch, shoulders touching, whispering to each other as Carly tried to soothe away Kendall's pain.

Erica announced "That woman is not staying in my home tonight."

Jackson said "Please, honey, lets not make anything worse now."

"Me? You accuse me of making things worse? She is the one who is making things worse. She made things as bad as they could ever be for the person she dares to call her sister. Carly killed Ryan."

Bianca said, "You know that isn't true, Mother."

"She might as well have. Danger turns her on. Gets her all hot and-"

"Just stop, Erica," said Kendall

"Eager," Erica went on "to crawl into a bed and into a insane lifestyle that is sure to get herself, her child, and everyone who is around them killed. I won't be around her or let my daughters or my grandson sleep in the same home as that walking time bomb."

"Did I say I want to stay here?" Carly asked her "I'm sure you don't have the room...what with your ego needing a bedroom of its own." Carly looked at Kendall and said "You don't need her, you know? She's not any sort of mother."

"She doesn't need you," Erica roared.

"All I need is Ryan!" Kendall yelled at them. She jumped up and ran upstairs. Carly followed her, while shooting daggers at Erica.

"Look what you caused, Miss Mob Moll Murderess," Erica called after her.

Bianca sighed. "How about some tea? Sound good?"

"Sounds better than bread and water behind bars," Brenda said.

After Bianca headed for the kitchen, Brenda said she was stepping outside to make a phone call. Standing beneath the stars she dialed her cell and got one of the guards at the safe house.

"Niko, hey."

"Brenda. Where are you at now? Do you know how bad people are freaking out around here over what you two pulled?"

"What Carly pulled...I just went along for the ride. We're fine. Safe. How is Michael?"

"His grandmother is here. She's reading him The Night Before Christmas and promising Santa can find safe houses. He's good...better than I am. Jason checked in and was pissed as hell that Carly escaped."

"So he's okay? Did he say anything about Johnny? Did they find Lorenzo?"

"Didn't say. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Not saying anything is Jason's style. If something happened he would have brought it up so I'm going to assume they are both unhurt and on their way here. I'll try calling Johnny when I hang up."

"Can I ask something first?"

"Go ahead."

"What in the world was Carly thinking?"

"Thinking? Carly. Hmmm. I'm not sure she does. She moves on instinct and emotion. Love. Hate. Lust. Pain. It all drives her for the better or worse of everyone around her. I can't blame her for wanting to be with Kendall right now but her methods leave a lot to be desired, don't you think?"

XXXXXXXXXXX

"She's not answering her phone," Jason said in a frustrated tone as he paced the length of the jet.

"Battery could be dead," Ryan told him.

Johnny hung up his cell and said "Brenda's went straight to voicemail."

Jason's jaw clenched. "Some of Alcazar's men could still be in Port Charles. They could have grabbed them up."

"Or they could be safely in Pine Valley by now," Ryan said "Try calling Erica."

He told Jason the number. Jason dialed and listened to the phone ringing. A woman answered.

"Is Kendall Hart there?"

"She isn't taking calls right now."

"Its urgent. Can you tell her Jason is on the phone?"

"Jason Morgan?"

"Yeah."

"I've heard a lot about you. About your lifestyle. About what that lifestyle has cost the people you claim to love...I'm sorry. I suppose it is not my place to judge though. Its just I hate to see Kendall so distraught lately."

Ryan mouthed "She there?"

Jason shrugged. Whoever he was talking to on the phone was starting to work his last nerve. He hated when people didn't get right to the point. "Can I talk to Kendall or not? I'd like to ask if she's seen Carly Spencer. They're old friends. She's a blonde..."

"Oh, yes, _Carly. _Sure. She's here. Let me go upstairs and get them. Hold on."

Jason let out a huge breath. To Johnny and Ryan he said, "Carly's there."


	24. Let Me Go Home

**Chapter Twenty Four- Let Me Go Home**

Bianca knocked lightly on Kendall's door and then stuck her head inside. She found her sister and Carly sitting on the bed. Kendall had tears running down her face and Carly was holding her hand.

"You have a phone call," Bianca said "Jason Morgan."

Carly jumped up and grabbed the phone. "Jase! What happened? Did you find that freaking bastard Lorenzo? Is he..._handled_?"

Jason ignored her questions and asked one of his own. "What the hell were you thinking? Can you tell me that?"

"What?" she asked innocently.

"You took off. You left our son."

"He's with Bobbie. Do not act like you didn't know that if Kendall needed me then I would go to her. Don't guilt trip me."

"Don't put yourself and Brenda in danger. You have Johnny worried to death over here."

"So he's okay then? And did you...?" She couldn't ask about Ryan in front of Kendall but Jason immediately knew what she was referring to.

"We found him. Ryan's alive."

Carly's eyes jerked over to Kendall. The intense look that she gave her prompted Kendall to mouth, "Everything okay?"

Jason said, "We'll be there soon. Stay right where you are. _Right where you are_, promise me."

"I promise." Carly let out a long breath. Her whole family was whole again- it was a miracle that she thanked God for. "I love you, Jase. Please hurry. I miss you like crazy."

"I love you, too. Are you feeling okay? The baby? I hope you didn't raise your blood pressure with this latest stunt."

"Our baby is fine. I'm fine. Everything is...going to work out perfect, I know it is. See you soon."

When Carly hung up she turned and handed the phone back to Bianca. "I need some time alone with Kendall. See yourself out."

"That was blunt," Bianca said.

Carly only stared back at her. Bianca shook her head at the other woman's audacity and then looked at Kendall. "Do you need me to stay?"

Carly opened the bedroom door and said "She don't."

"Give us a few minutes alone, okay?" Kendall asked. When Bianca left Kendall stood up and walked over to Carly. "He's dead, isn't he? Lorenzo?"

"Jason didn't say but he wouldn't have left him alive." Carly was shaking slightly, her eyes searched Kendall's.

"I thought I would feel relived," Kendall whispered "knowing the man who took Ryan away from me is gone, but I don't. I still feel just as empty. Oh, Caroline..."

She started to cry and Carly moved close to her, looking right in her eyes, "I would never lie to you. You know that, right?"

Kendall nodded.

Carly took her hand and said "Please, sit down, and try to stay calm for me, okay? Remember who I am and that I would never let anyone hurt you if I could stop them and I would never do or say something to hurt you. Remember how much I love you, Charlotte."

"What do you have to tell me? Is John in danger? Is someone in the Alcazar family going to come after my son?"

"Jason will wipe every person in that organization off this planet. He found Lorenzo and...I told Jason that there was some question about Ryan's death. It seemed suspicious that no one saw his body after he died. Haven't you wondered if he actually did die?"

Kendall froze.

Carly whispered, "He didn't. Jason found Ryan alive. Lorenzo was holding him captive, probably as leverage."

"Caroline...what? How can that be? How can...Ryan's alive?" Kendall covered her mouth and started to sob. When she could speak again she said "Get Jason back on that phone! I want to talk to Ryan."

XXXXXXXXXXX

"What do you mean Ryan is alive?" Brenda screeched into the phone. "Oh my God, Johnny. Oh my..."

She was still standing outside of Erica's mansion. The door flew open and then Erica, Jackson and Bianca were rushing out. Erica grabbed her arm and hissed "What did you say?"

"Sorry to interrupt," started Jackson "but we could have sworn you just screamed that..."

"Ryan is alive?" asked Bianca "That can't be true. The hospital said..."

Into the phone, Brenda asked "How hurt is he?"

"He's recovering from the bullet wounds still but he can walk, talk...he's in good shape, considering."

Erica cried "Answer me, young lady!" Then to Jackson she complained "Why won' t she answer me? Make her answer me." Then to Kendall she asked "Who are you talking to anyway? Is that Ryan? Is he alive or not? My daughter has been to hell and back these last few days and she can not bear to endure being given false hope..."

Brenda breathed out, "He's alive."

"How can that be?" asked Jackson

"Someone at the hospital must have been paid to fake his death," said Brenda "I don't have all the details." Into the phone she asked "Are you coming here now?"

"We'll be on the ground within the hour."

"I can't wait to see you. Don't ever, ever, ever leave me on Carly-sitting duty again. I would rather spend time with rabid snakes."

He chuckled. "You know you love her."

"No, I don't," she said "You might love her. I put up with her. Because," Brenda whispered sweetly "I'm crazy about you."

(_Maybe surrounded by  
a million people_

_I   
still feel all alone _

_  
I just wanna go home  
Oh I miss you, you know _) ( Michael Buble) 

Brenda never heard what Johnny's response was because Erica grabbed the phone from her and asked into it "Is Ryan with you? Put him on."

"Who is this?"

"Erica Kane and who are you?"

"See you soon, Erica Kane. And, just so you know, you really should not put your hands on things that don't belong to you." The dial tone filled her ear.

"He hung up on me! The absolute nerve..."

"That doesn't matter," Jackson soothed her. He said to Brenda "Can you trust this man who told you Ryan is alive? I can't tell Kendall something not reliable but I don't want her shocked if Ryan was to come walking in the door."

"Then warn her because," Brenda said "he's on his way home."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As soon as Ryan heard Kendall's soft shaking voice, his eyes filled with tears.

"Hello?"

"It's me," he said

"RYAN!" She cried happily.

He whispered, "Oh, Kendall, baby..."

She was sobbing. "I thought I lost you. I couldn't live without you. I didn't know how to go on...oh, _Ryan_."

"I know. I know. I'm coming home right now. I'll be back with you soon. I'm sorry I put you through this...thinking I was gone...I tried to get back to you but I was on a boat in the middle of the ocean."

"I love you. I love you with all of my heart. I want to be your wife."

"You are my wife."

Though it wasn't legal yet to them it was. They were committed for life-this life they were lucky enough to have another chance at living together.

(_Another winter day has come  
and gone away..._

_Let me go home._

_  
I've had my run.  
Baby, I'm done.  
I gotta go home. _

_  
Let me go home ._

_  
It will all right.  
I'll be home tonight.  
I'm coming back home._) 


	25. Never Would Have Come

**Chapter Twenty Five- Never Could Have Gone This Far Without You**

At the Pine Valley Airport, Jason Morgan rented an SUV. Marco drove while Jason sat in the front next to him. Ryan and Johnny sat in the back seat. They rode in silence, with all of their minds lost in their own thoughts.

They pulled up to the gate outside of Erica's mansion. Marco rolled down the window and said "Mr. Lavery and associates here to see Ms. Hart."

The guard used his cell to call up to the house, then opened the gate. Marco drove through.

He was only half way up the long driveway when the doors burst open and Kendall came running toward the SUV. Behind her, was Erica, Jackson, Bianca, Carly and Brenda.

Marco stopped the SUV just as Ryan flung open his door and climbed out.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Though his body was aching in every spot he could name, and his head had been pounding since the moment he woke up in the ocean, Ryan felt like he was flying high. Seeing Kendall running towards him and knowing they would have the chance to spend their lives together, it was a miracle in his book. And when her arms wrapped around him, and he pulled her close, burying his head in the crook of her neck, he knew he was home.

She murmured, "I love you so much, so much, never leave me again."

"I never will."

Ryan kissed her, with both his hands cupping her cheeks, and when he pulled back she was smiling.

Kendall said, with tears streaming down her face, "You are the love of my life, you know that, right?"

"And you are the love of mine."

XXXXXXX

Johnny lifted Brenda off her feet and spun her around. She laughed. Her hands went into his hair, then down over his neck, and settled on his chest. She loved feeling him and knowing he was alive, here, and still hers.

She gave him a kiss that was quick but hotter than should be seen by strangers. She didn't care though, she loved this man and wanted the whole damn world to know it.

"You are so lucky," she teased "that you made it back to me in one piece. I would have kicked your ass if you hadn't."

"Since when can you kick my ass? I would like to see you try."

She laughed. "Do not write a check your mouth can't cash, tough guy. I know moves you and Jason have _both _never even heard of." That comment took them both back to the first morning after she came home.

Johnny ran the back of his hands over her cheek in a tender caress. "What I am gonna do with you?"

She eased close to him and whispered, "Love me"

"Believe me, I do." He leaned down and kissed her again. He was pretty sure no one was paying attention to them because they were all gathered around Kendall and Ryan, but even if they were, he couldn't be bothered to care because he was looking into the eyes of the woman he loved, and to Johnny that is what mattered most right now. "And I don't plan on ever stopping."

XXXXXXXXXXX

As soon as Carly reached Jason she smiled and wrapped one arm around his neck, pulling herself close to him. "Thank you. For bringing him back. You know I love how you make the impossible seem like no big thing. How do you pull that off? Cause I would love to be able to do that-"

"Do not try flattery, Carly."

She played innocent. "What? I am just saying I am impressed with your skills. You tracked down Lorenzo and got us back Ryan and it only took a few days. You even got back to me, and our little unborn baby," she smiled at him, doing her best to lay it on thick, "before Christmas. You are my hero, Jase."

That much was true, they both knew, but it was also obvious she wanted him to forget about her fleeing the safe house, which he did not intend to do.

"Yeah, yeah..." He worked hard to not let her words make him forget to be mad at her.

"What? You are!"

"Why couldn't you sit tight? I asked you to do one thing- sit tight- and you had to go and do the exact opposite. Why do you risk so much when you know..." his voice dropped from annoyed to heartfelt "I can't lose you."

"I know my little plans-"

"Big, crazy plans."

"My big, crazy plans," she corrected "drive you nuts but I do them for one reason only- to get the life I always wanted. That starts with you and our children but also includes Kendall and Ryan and John and the Spencers and Johnny. I can't say I won't do something crazy again when it comes to making them all happy or safe or letting them know I love them... I will hatch another plan another time if I think I need to. So get used to it."

He shook his head at her, in a way that said _I love you, you crazy woman_.

"You are lucky you didn't get yourself killed," he grumbled but the anger was gone from his tone. He finally hugged her, pulling her close and reveling in the feel of her pressed against him.

She whispered in his ear, "I'm never gonna die because I am never gonna leave you. That may not sound possible but...I've got a plan."

Jason chuckled.

XXXXXXXXX

Erica waited for Ryan and Kendall to separate and then she cried out, happily, "It is so good to see you alive and well. I thought...I never would again." The last word was tear filled. She brought her hand up to rest over her heart as she took in ragged breath, Jackson wrapped his arm around her waist.

"Good to have you home, Ryan," he said.

"Its good to be here," Ryan said. Then he looked at Bianca. Without saying a word, they hugged.

Ryan brought his eyes back to connect with Kendall's. "I want to see our boy."

She slipped her hands in his and led him up to the nursery. He looked down and saw his precious son laying there, staring up at him, his fingers curled in a fist as he made little sounds of happiness.

"Hello, John. Daddy's home," Ryan said.

He picked up his child and cuddled him to his chest.

There was a time Ryan did not think himself fit to be a father, but now that he was, he found it to be the most life changing blessing he had ever received- and it wouldn't have been possible if not for Kendall's unrelenting commitment to them and her unshakeable love.

(_Hey, hey  
you've been so kind and generous._

_  
I don't know why you keep on giving._

_  
For your kindness,_

_I'm in debt to you._

_  
And I __**never could have**__ gone this far_

_without you._

_  
For everything you've done  
you know I'm bound--I'm bound to thank you for it) ( Natalie Merchant)  
_

Kendall was more to Ryan that just the hottest chick to ever look his way, more than just a con artist like him who he could relate to, more than just the woman who knew all his past and didn't think less of him for it, more than just his friend and partner in crime...she was the one who made his soul complete.

She gave him this life, this family, this reason to live and a reason to fight for their life together. She made his life what it was, and even though it had led him into a dangerous situation he was still grateful to have this life with her.

Ryan's eyes moved over to hers and he saw how happy, relieved, and excited she was to have him back. Her eyes were lit up with joy. It was a beautiful sight, one he would never forget.

(_Oh,_

_I want to thank you for so many_

_gifts._

_  
You gave me love and_

_tenderness._

_  
I want to thank you!_

_  
I want to thank you for your_

_generosity,   
the love, and the honesty that you gave to me._

_  
I want to thank you, _

_show my gratitude,  
__**my love and my respect for you.**_

_I want to thank you) ( Natalie merchant)  
_

He thanked God for her and for this child he held and for the chance to live this moment in time with them.

(_I want to thank you, thank you,  
Thank you, thank you,  
Thank you, thank you,  
Thank you, thank you...)_


End file.
